Am I unreasonable

[Confused88]

Confused88

So my 30th is impending and yes weee going away I wanted it as a suprise but I had to book and sort everything out. My OH and I have been together 5 years house kids dogs all done (no ring) Now this is what I’m wondering if I am being unfair he turned to me tonight and said I’ve not got you a present from him or kids we’re going away that’s your present I don’t want a huge amount I mean yes an engagement would be a dream but a token thought present it is my 30th after all I was very upset that he is actually thinking that it’s ok to get me nothing AM I BEING UNREASONABLE

Hang on a minute. So he's having the same present that you are? And the children are, too? SO WHERE IS YOUR PRESENT????

Yes he is this is my point it’s a family holiday

He's being incredibly unfair. It's your birthday - a 30th no less - and he thinks he can just say the holiday is your present? That's just not fair.

Is he normally selfish?

Has he had his 30th? If so what did you do for that?

So how is it your present if everyone is getting it and you've had to do all the organising?

No his is yet to come yes Mother’s Day I got nothing I was told your not my mum other than presents he’s amazing just feel in appreciate

I need to stop reading MN. It makes me realise I am married to a thoughtless wanker exactly the same as yours.

I honestly can’t believe it

Just tell him "No, that's not good enough. It's my birthday you need to get me an actual present - that you choose and acquire yourself."

He's just seeing what he can get away with. Lazy twat.

I’ve made it obvious I’m pissed off and he will get nothing

Is he paying for it all?

So the holiday you booked was your present from him.

What is the situation re the property; I sincerely hope that you are at least on the mortgage and or title deeds.

Why are you together at all? It seems that you have simply handed over all your power to him in this relationship at your overall expense leaving you with very little.

ExP did this once. I did get a shit teapot from Sainsbury's too though
He was shocked I wasn't bowled over with gratitude.
He's ExP for a reason. Now I buy myself lovely gifts (from the DC ) .

What a CF thinking a break away eith you dc’s is luxury time away.

The man is an IDIOT

That's made me feel sad for you...you should have a mega fuss for your 30 th..🌷🥀🌹💐🌻

For my 40th my dh had my necklace repaired, no party or bday cake either. Think it was probably the most miserable bday of my whole life.

It does feel shit when you realise your OH cares so little for your feelings. It makes it seem you are no longer considered a person in your own right, but just 'there'.

Perhaps you could uninvite him. Your present, your guest list.

He's being tight. How is this really a gift for you.

If he was paying for you to go away alone... thst would be a gift.

Sounds a bit like this woman's husband.

www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/645937-what-would-you-do-if-your-so-didn-t-acknowledge-your-birthday-holidays

I’ve made it obvious I’m pissed off and he will get nothing

Dont do it like that - it just gives him back the power as you will be seen as a mardy arse that doesn't deserve it.

TELL him nicely what you NEED him to do. Ie buy a gift from him and another from the kids - then also that during the holiday you need birthday celebrations and treats eg - massage / spa day away from kids.

The nothing for Mothers day because you are not his mother is pathetic and disrespectful. You need to tell him how he needs to step up - nicely (at first)