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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can someone tell me it'll all be ok?

5 replies

Squtternutbosch · 13/01/2018 00:06

I've been really sad for so long.

My exP cheated on me, and lied to me about it for a long time. I was pregnant. We broke up anyway but live together with our young daughter.

My ex is abusive and mean. He is bitter, nasty, manipulative and knows exactly how to hurt me. He called me a fucking disgrace and a cunt this evening while I held our 12 month old daughter in my arms...because I hadn't vacuumed. Even though we were both out all day at work.

He complains because he doesn't get sex from me. Aside from the fact that he is not my partner, he also knows I had a very traumatic birth and have some not insignificant problems- anatomically speaking- as a result. But he thinks I owe it to him.

It all came to a head tonight and I finally came out from under his spell. I have been so in love with him for so long, so under his control.

But. I am 35 years old and a single mother. I really need someone to tell me firstly that getting rid of him is the right thing and secondly that it's not too late for me to find someone who will genuinely make me happy. I am so sad.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 13/01/2018 00:10

You will move on and there’s no reason not to find someone when you’re ready. Flowers

However you won’t get any of that while you live together.

ScreamingValenta · 13/01/2018 00:13

Getting rid of him was 100% the right thing to do. At 35 you have years and years ahead of you to find someone who will treat you with love and respect. Take your time to find the right person and everything will be fine; in the meantime, relish the fact you are not beholden to unreasonable demands and abuse, and enjoy the time you can spend with your DD without having to worry about your ex's manipulation.

QueenNefertitty · 13/01/2018 00:14

Why do you need a man to make you happy?

I'm sorry you've had a horrible time with this vile man, but I'd suggest you find your happiness in yourself, with your daughter, and worry less about "it not being too late to find someone else".

Honestly, I don't mean to be harsh, but you're responsible for making your own happiness and your daughter's- you shouldn't rely on anyone else for that. Then when you fall in love again, your next relationship will hopefully be much healthier.

thegreatbeyond · 13/01/2018 00:17

Why do you live with him?

brokenways · 13/01/2018 07:12

Can you get him out of the house?

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