OLD's - when is it ok to ..... you know

[MozzchopsThirty]

After November's disaster with the lovebomber I dusted myself down and got back online

Met a guy for date 1 this week and have never in my life met a guy that I could say yes to on a first date (sex wise)I found him unbelievably attractive, didn't expect to, the date went great and we laughed and laughed.

So he's asked if we can do date 2 next week, then maybe next weekend as we are both child free.
He lives an hour away so would involve one of us staying over in the others city

My question is if I wanted to, is date 3 ok to have sex?
My married friend says absolutely not
My wild friend says 'why wait'?

My last long relationship (from OLD) lasted 3 years and we had sex on date 2.

Opinions welcome

I am in two camps with this. If you feel it could be more with him and you want to proceed in a relationship I would say wait. If you just want sex, and you are aware he might then lose interest, then go for it.

I watched a really interesting TED talk the other day about a woman analysing her grandmothers advice to wait if you really want a guy to commit. Basically the premise was for a guy to fell in love, he needs to first decide if you are a girl he would commit too. Once he decides to commit there is research to say that his level of testosterone then drops, which allows for the love hormones particularly oxytocin to do its thing.

Here is the link:

I think if a grown woman can't decide this for herself, she shouldn't be dating.

I'm sorry that sounds harsh!

But come on... there isn't a single magic answer. The right time depends more on the individual.

If you want to have sex - do it.
If you want to have sex but you know you'd regret it if he turned out to be another love bomber - don't have sex until you have the measure of him.

Never have sex just because an hour's distance means you "have" to stay over.

Only you can make this decision.

My personal history is I've never waited more than 3 dates except my first because I was under 16.

In all those years, some relationships have been lovely but grown apart, some (2) led to marriage, many were short lived and not drama. One was pretty fucking rubbish. In no case was the outcome related to when we had sex. And in only one case did I regret the sex - but only in a "wouldn't do that again" way, not a total headfuck way.

If you need to ask - don't have sex yet, would be my advice. You should only have sex if you're confident with your decision.

You can have sex an hour after meeting if you want to, feel comfortable etc etc. Don't put an arbitrary time on it - you can be ready before the much-touted date 3, and not ready until date 4, 5 or 10.

You only have to read the many dating threads on here to realise that there is no correlation between how long you wait to have sex and whether or not a bloke sticks around after. If they were only ever interested in sex, they'll behave the same whenever it happens.

I don't think there's a time frame just when you feel comfortable with the person

Yes I believe that, if he likes me it won't make any difference when we have sex

But I haven't stopped thinking about it since I met him, I'm rarely that attracted to people like that

If you're both consenting adults I say go for it! There's always a chance that he'll dump you after sex, but he might not and you'll never know unless you do it. One of my mates slept with her husband the night they met and they'll have been married 11 years this year.

It's not like we're gonna get married and have babies, that ship has sailed.

I just do seem to start most of relationships with sex, some have lasted years and others not so I suppose that makes it fairly irrelevant