Have you ever suddenly realised what it's like to feel a true connection with someone?

[lottieandmia22]

I've been single for about 4 years and have dated lots of people that never worked out - usually I decided I didn't like them as much as I first thought.

Recently I met a man through work and I feel such a deep connection with him and just feel like I want to be with him all the time (obviously I wouldn't actually do that). There is an amazing attraction but it's much more than just that. I've had lustful feelings about a lot of people and even limerence (which is a nightmare) but this is so different- it never feels wrong or stressful.

I have started to wonder if I've ever felt this way about anyone. Possibly only my ex husband (18 years ago!)

I don't want to get my hopes up too much in case it doesn't work out but I had honestly forgotten that it's possible to have these feelings for someone - I had become so cynical about relationships generally.

Also I was thinking about the other men I've dated and I was always happy to go for weeks at a time without seeing them. Which in retrospect speaks volumes.

Yes. He's my husband now.
Take it easy though! He took his time in finding out what I knew all along

It feels healthy because neither of us is desperate to be in a relationship.

Yes at the age of 31 I am having these feelings for the first time but unfortunately I am married.

I didn't know it was possible to feel this way.

Also we haven't even had sex yet!

Badeyes - that does sound difficult- I assume you aren't happy with your current dh?

Sounds amazing op
I wish I could get back this stage of my relationship
It makes me so sad to think ll never have that again

Yes. Sadly we were both married to other people. So I went nc about three years ago but there is not a day goes by when I don t think about him

I had this just after I split up with my abusive ex-h. I still remember locking eyes with him for the very first time. I didn't trust my feelings at the time, he was much younger than me and is just left my marriage so it didn't go anywhere. We were never a couple but we did sleep with each other. I have never had that strength of connection to anyone apart from my first love and him. I'm thankful I've had it though. It makes me feel glad that I had one of the most important human experiences. I often think of him.

It's interesting because I'm a very sex driven person but I want to spend time with him for it's own sake primarily. I've not really experienced that with anyone else except my ex husband.

Yes I have. I felt it with an ex when I first met him. I was someone else so we didn't get together for another 4 yrs. We stayed together for 1.5yrs and broke up over something stupid. I bumped into him 5 months ago and that connection was still there. We both felt it. Unfortunately we are both unavailable so I've gone no contact.

Yes, however I'm already married. Having a full blown teenage crush on someone unobtainable when you are in your late thirties just fucking sucks.

Aww this thread made me smile, and I am so happy for you.

Yes I've been single a year and have always settled into relationships that I didn't even have that strong a connection with the person, or who I would try and change myself to get them to like me more. Now at 32 I have recently met someone who I have a very strong connection with. Even more than with my DC's dad who I was with for 8 years. It's early days though, and even though we have slept together (which was the best I've ever had), I'm still trying to take it slow as it could easily go full speed as we seem to have so much chemistry.

It's just so refreshing. He doesn't want to play games and like me, he wasn't that bothered about getting into a relationship so is also shocked to like me as much as I like him. I've never had it where I've met someone who seems to be on exactly the same page as me - tells me he likes me, makes the effort to message me, doesn't change himself or his opinions to make me like him. I've been exactly who I am too, and he's accepted me exactly as I am.

Hope it lasts for both of us x

I hope so too meow - good luck!

My mum has just ruined it for me by saying 'he hadn't got a woman in every port has he?' 😭

Why would your DM say that OP? Is he actually a sailor?

No, he's definitely not haha. She said she doesn't trust any man (she works in family law) I think he's lovely and he was married for 18 years and has 2 grown up children so obviously can hold down a relationship.

Badeyes - that does sound difficult- I assume you aren't happy with your current dh?

No, not happy really. I actually told my dh I wanted to separate a few months before I met the man I feel the connection with but we decided to try and work things out. My dh is a good person and I love him in a way but (I don't believe in this sort of stuff...or didn't) I feel like the other man is who I'm supposed to be with, like my soul mate or something. I know that sounds ridiculous. I haven't cheated on my dh, at least not in the usual way, but my feelings are a form of cheating I suppose. The thought of being with dh for the rest of my life makes me feel quite unhappy. At the same time I know if we were to break up, my dh would be heartbroken. I've realised that he feels for me, the way I do about this other man and I don't want to cause my dh pain. I really don't know what the future will hold.

It doesn't sound ridiculous- I'm sorry you have this dilemma.

The guy has told his son about me so I guess that is a good sign. My mum is always so negative about everything.

Good luck OP. Sounds like love!!

Thank you Diamond!

@lalimerente you say you think abt him every day for 3 years even though nc. Does that mean you love him?

Bumo

Bump

Yes a long time ago I met a young man who I instantly clicked with. We seemed to have so much in common, a shared sense of humour, shared core values, a shard vision for our future lives. We spent the summer running children’s camps and grew close. We’ve been together and happily married a long time now.