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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tricky one. Any advice?

4 replies

Username987 · 12/01/2018 09:21

Hey everyone.
Haven't posted in a while but feel I need advice!
I've recently met someone, is it true what they say, ' when you know, you know' ??
I'm literally head over heels for him, and I've only been seeing him in a short space of time. I get that the feeling is mutual.
Baring in mind I'm 26 and what I'm about to go into was over 10 years ago!
So here's the part where I need a little bit of advice - it may get a little confusing so hope I make sense, his brother whom he is very very close to, has a wife who I knew in school, she was a few years younger than me, she had a sister who was in my year, the sister and I got to become good friends, she was quite shy and quiet and I took her under my wing and introduced her to all my friends, soon she became apart of our ' group ' she seemed a nice girl. At parties for some reason girls would kiss girls ( at the age of 14 it was to try and turn boys on ... very immature looking back ) but hey that's what happened, I kissed her, she kissed other girls and so on... we had sleepovers, normal friend stuff.
I ended up going out with a boy and naturally started spending more time with him, she soon got very jealous, and started spreading rumours about me! There was a few but the main one was that we did things. I was bullied for nearly a year in school because of this, name calling in the corridors etc.. as you could imagine our friendship was no more. Everyone knew what she was like, quite shy but very sly!
About half a year later, she comes out as a lesbian. She became a bit of a rebel after that. And got a bit of a name for herself. She was quite a bit of an attention seeker and from what I've heard she still is. The sister and her get along but the brother isn't that keen but gets along with her from his wife's sake. Apparently the brother and wife are very laid back and the easiest people to get on with!
So what I'm asking is... is shall I mention it to the guy I'm seeing? I would hate for him to tell his brother and his wife that he's seeing me and for the sister to mention it as it wouldn't be my side of the story! Usually these things wouldn't bother me, I know it's not the truth but it is playing on my mind with the fact that I know how close he is to his brother and his wife and like I've said before, I feel as if this is something so special and would hate something so ridiculous to ruin what we have.
I understand this sounds so silly. Is a bit deal to what I'm thinking in my head?
Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 12/01/2018 09:28

I’d tell him if you’d rather he hear it from you. It sounds like this girl put you through quite a traumatic time but I suspect he won’t think of it as a big deal as to him it was so long ago.

ThisLittleKitty · 12/01/2018 09:49

Tell him

Schroedingerscatagain · 12/01/2018 10:14

I married my dh after 3 months as like you we just knew it was right and being in our 30’s wanted to get on with life

Until we were engaged I didn’t meet his older brother and wife who turned out to be someone I too had gone to school with

Nothing was said at the time but it later came out that she had tried to cause trouble by blatantly lying about me to my dh

To his credit he ignored her and thankfully we’re still married many years later

Had I known about her bitchiness at the time I would have handled her quite differently as it was obvious she felt threatened by our relationship

As you know she’s a member of the family, in your place I think I would speak up now to preempt anything occurring

Username987 · 12/01/2018 11:10

Thanks for your advice all.
I'm so nervous telling him. She ruined so much of my teenage years. I'd be gutted if she was able to do the same now.

OP posts:
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