I just feel like giving up

[MrsSylviaTietjens]

I’ve been ill with something for months. I’ve had stomac ulcers, been vomiting several times a day, constantly anaemic and exhausted. I’ve had loads of tests but no cause found as yet.

I have 2 dc and am a sahm. This week dh has been busy with work and has got home after they’re asleep and leaves before they’ve woken up everyday. Dc1 is autistic and dc2 is a 2 year ball of energy and tantrums.

He messaged today to let me know that he’d be home early tonight. I could have a nice bath and an early night and he’d cook dinner and put dc’s to bed. He’s not home yet, just called me and put his pissed up mate on the phone to tell me that it was his fault, not dh’s and then proceeded to sing me a song. I was asleep and now I’m awake and crying and I’ll and I fucking hate him.

Oh, I'm so sorry honey. That's awful. What a jerk putting his friend on like that. Hugs!

Think I'd have told his mate to keep him.

Selfish bastard! Reading that took me right back yo when my ex used to do similar. It's such an awful feeling. I'm sorry OP.

I'm so sorry OP. I remember this exact thing happening to me with an ex and I'd spend hours crying. He'd do it night after night. I often wouldn't know for days whether he was safe. I can't imagine what it's like when you have children to look after at the same time. Stay strong and focus all your energy on your DC. Don't give DH the satisfaction of knowing he's hurt you. If he does this regularly then a talk is needed, especially with you being ill. Perhaps he isn't coping with the fact that you're so ill with no proper diagnosis? Talk to him once he's sober and the dust is settled.

My exh used to pull such stunts, hence he's my ex.

OP I think your not so dear h does need to know how upset you are.

He promised to do something nice for you and instead did something horrible, and was a coward about it.

I hope you are better soon, and I hope you can get your dh to actually do what he said he would do and treat you nicely tomorrow. If you can afford it, can you get some help at home on a short term basis while you are ill, or could a family member come and help. If your dh doesn't want a family member round helping, or to pay for help, could he make sure he looks after you this weekend and does his fare share?

Is he home now?
How often does this happen?
Is it a one off?
Is he usually thoughtful?

He wasn’t home when I left this morning to take dc1 to school. From there I went straight to a local nature reserve with dc2 and had lunch there with him. I get home a 2ish to see dh’s car in the drive. He’s taken the day off work presumably (haven’t spoken to him, he’s still asleep in the spare room) and he doesn’t get sick pay.

I don’t know how my life came to this. 6 years ago I was about to marry my dh who I loved to pieces, had a career I enjoyed and friends and family who I spent time with. I dont know how to change things to make them better again.

he is a selfish bastard OP.

Bloody hell, OP, he's a waste of space.

You sound amazing.

What positive things is he actually delivering to the family right now?

Would be consider marriage counselling?

Do you think your health might be stress (DH) related? At least if you LTB you'd have no expectations on a day to day basis, and the likelihood of at least every other weekend free...