How soon is too soon?

[freshstart345]

I’ve been having a discussion with a few friends today about casual dating and at what point you know it is more than that with someone, and it becomes official. We couldn’t agree at all, there was talk of ‘when you know, you know’ but also that actually, dating somebody is exciting so the butterflies are bound to be there! So the question is, how soon is too soon?

There's no such thing as too soon, because the minute you realise it's reach the end of the line, you just end it. "Official" is not any kind of commitment. So whether you call someone your boyfriend after 1 date or 10, it makes no sudden difference.

What do you even mean by "official"? Please god not Facebook relationship status territory 😂

Do you mean exclusivity = official?

I suppose to me, official means I would use the word boyfriend, be happy to introduce them to friends (I may not do so, but would be happy to) and exclusive.

Personally, I when OLD I expected exclusivity after 3 dates. That usually coincided with sex. It's not that I expect a man to be sure I'm "the one" after 3 dates. But if after 3 dates you don't like me enough to put other dates on hold whilst you find out, then you're not into me enough - so: bye! I wouldn't mind a man still having an OLD account - but I'd expect it to be suspended.

With my last dating situation, I had the sex / exclusive thing... but I wasn't feeling that I wanted to introduce them to friends or use the word boyfriend. With my current fiancé, I introduced him to my best friend on our second date because I wanted to show him off IME you can "just know" about the right or wrong person. But every time I've had a nagging doubt, it's ALWAYS been right.

Haha no definitely not Facebook official! More along the lines of being in a relationship, with the ‘titles’ of boyfriend and girlfriend. I agree with exclusivity after a few dates, that was a group consensus really. It was more when is it too soon to enter that ‘official’ relationship? Because lust and butterflies can hide a lot of issues!

I still don't understand what you mean by "official" though?

Casual non exclusive
Exclusive
Official
Engaged
Married

What actually happens in that list at 'official' that could be considered too soon? Nothing actually happens when you say "boyfriend". Only that you've stopped looking elsewhere, if you don't have a separate exclusive / casual stage. But there's no legal contact, nothing to stop you ending it.

Oh, I suppose I could put in more:

Official
Living Together
Starting a Family

I have opinions on how soon is too soon for Living Together and starting a family!

But not using the word boyfriend. Just a word!

Ellisandra - "current" fiancé (??)!

Ha!
Well, he won't be my fiancé in 3 months time

I actually wrote "current boyfriend" to contrast with the phrase "last boyfriend". Then changed it to fiancé because I wanted to emphasise that he had been a realising immediately example.

He is my third fiancé . Actually, fourth if we count the one when I was 7...