How to meet men

[Tryingtomeetsomeone]

Come out of 8 year relationship. It's very sad. It hasn't been working for years and was very on and off for the last 3 years. I used to think ex DP was my soulmate and harbour a lot of sadness for what might have been as well as affection for him. But I think this time it truly is the end and I think for both our sakes especially mine I need to move on.

Sorry this is incredibly rambly. I've tried before in the past with online dating and it's never gone anywhere and I don't think it's really for me. But I've struggled since with how do you meet men? I feel like all the stuff I do and like, my hobbies, are either solitary or heavily gender biased towards women. I have a small close circle of friends but they don't tend to hold parties and we just socialise together and I'm feeling very stuck.

Work
Gym or sports
Hobbies that are more mixed
Just out and about

Point is you do need to do things you enjoy and not just see them as a means to an end and not just to meet men. The last time I was asked out I was sat having lunch in a cafe by myself. Don't under estimate just being out and about.

Are your friends all coupled up?

Most of my boyfriends I've met in bars and pubs tbh.

Yes it's true. I think I've gone for hobbies I like and they seem far too women-type ones like seeing or solitary that you do on your own. I don't really go out to bars or clubs with my friends. We tend to go and have a meal but they're not really into the pub scene. It's tricky. I'm just not sure what to do.

Have you been on Meetup?

You need to get yourself down the pub.

Do you like rock climbing? It's a nice mixed sport and people are really friendly and easy to talk too.

Pretty much every boyfriend I have ever had has been either someone I already knew or someone a friend knew. I met my bf because he plays in a poker league with some of my friends. ooh can you play poker? As that tends to be a male dominated thing.

I agree Meetup is good as some people in your local group will be in a very similar position and at least it'll get you to pubs.

I know you don't like online dating but I'm sure I saw an advert from one of those dating sites that does singles nights, so you could go along and not have to go through all the sending messages lark. Is speed dating still a thing? I always thought that might be fun.

I think that you can try online dating for the first time!
datingtalks.com/dating-guide/online-dating/
This articles helped me a lot!

I've just been looking at MeetUp and wondered how you know if you'll 'fit in' or not.

There are quite a few travel groups that look good but there's no way of knowing if they're all 30 odd or 60 odd (I'm somewhere in the middle!)

Has anyone got any experience of MeetUp?

Meet Up varies HUGELY depending where you live. Bit like online dating really. I think unless you live in at least a very large town or small city, you may find there ain't much there. I live between a large town and small city, just 8 miles apart, with a population of over 250,000 between them and lots of smaller towns and large villages in a 10-mile radius of each amounting to around another 75,000. Very few Meet Ups at all and what there are are pretty limited to a very few subject. Walking being a particular one. Except they tend to be things like "Over 50s Walking" or "Under 30s Walking" or sports that only want league ability players.

@MaudlinMews
I love meetup and have made some lifelong friends through it. Its great when you move to a new place. Nobody will be judging you, everyone on there wants to make new friends. You're pretty much guaranteed a warm welcome. Start with something low key like board games night or drink down the pub etc.

Oh and just to confirm points by two PP:

I play poker and its very male dominated. You can start learning to play online and then look for a IRL beginner session.

My sister met her boyfriend through rock climbing, it is indeed very mixed and sociable.

Ok stupid question but when you say rick climbing do you mean a centre where you go climb the walls? Are these lessons? Sessions?

@Tryingtomeetsomeone
Yes exactly, you start with lessons if you dont know anyone who can partner with you. And then once you feel.comfortable with the basics, I guess you just rock on up (LOL) to the centre when they have "freestyle" sessions (a bit like at a pool I guess). So you get into the swing of turning up, seeing who's around, partnering up for some practice etc, and then when they are more experienced they go off on climbing jaunts and holidays.

Hopefully a rock climber will be here to tell me if I got that right!

You could post an AIBU ("to want to know more about rock climbimg?") for traffic. Theres bound to be loads of people on here who have done it, its really popular

Lol. I love the rock on up! I need to rock my whole life up I think! Good plan re AIBU. Thank you!

Cycling groups - very male dominated
Walking groups- know two people who met and married their partners that way

Sorry I didn't get back sooner, there are indoor rock climbing centre's and then outdoor climbing. I would recommend starting with indoor and with bouldering first (free climbing) it's easier to mix with people and people will come and talk to you if you look like help or even congratulate you for a successful climb.
People of all ages rock climb and it's a great way to keep fit as well

Are you based in London? There are some really nice centre's here.
If not I know that there are many spread around the country a google search should bring up your closest one

gentle jog groups in most small towns. very welcoming of newbies and a common interest from the start wanting to keep a little fit.

can chat about healthy meals you trying, and compare stories and updates with new pals next time group meets etc.

Was going to say cycle groups. I'd join one myself if I wasn't such a lazy bugger with an aversion to Lycra!