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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't know what to think of this

14 replies

Chapman198 · 10/01/2018 21:39

Before I start I'd like to point out that I suffer with BPD and have a lot of bad days
It's only been the last four weeks that have been good, last year was stressful for me.
This was very difficult for my wife and I'm not an easy person to be married to.

So me & my wife had this stupid argument that was over something or nothing and got blown out of proportion

My wife said to me that she was leaving me
Something she always threatens me with when we argue

She said something that didn't make sense like she'd done something or had a plan then refused to talk about it again.

Later on she again said she was leaving me and they had been another woman after her for months and she's going to be sorted
Basically she has a woman in the pipeline
So she's no arsed about leaving me is the idea I'm getting

I've had it out with her and she's saying
She just made it up ~

Eventually she said a few weeks ago
A parent at her work (she's a nursery nurse) asked another member of staff is my wife was single as she fancied her and wanted to ask her out.

Long story short - she has checked her out on fb but "hasn't done anything"
She just wanted to hurt me
Oh yes she has done that alright!!!

She also give me a rain of abusive name calling during this argument
Fat lazy slag cunt this fat that stupid fucking cow this kind of verbal abuse
This isn't the first time either, she likes to be verbally vile to me in arguments. She is very sorry she doesn't want this to be the end

I feel very head fucked at the minute
I don't know how to feel or what to do

OP posts:
DesignedForLife · 10/01/2018 21:50

This doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship to be honest. Constantly threatening to leave you is not good.

DesignedForLife · 10/01/2018 21:51

This doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship to be honest. Constantly threatening to leave you is not good.

Chapman198 · 10/01/2018 21:56

That's a very helpful input

OP posts:
Figrollsnotfatrolls · 10/01/2018 21:59

My exh used it threaten to leave when things weren't going his way. He did leave - twice. The day I told him to leave was the best day ever.

Chaosofcalm · 10/01/2018 22:00

Agree with PP and I would of not be staying with someone who called me names.

DesignedForLife · 10/01/2018 22:00

Sorry I'm not an expert on such things, but she sounds quite abusive and manipulative, no wonder your head feels a mess. I think you'd get much better advice on the relationship board.

TeachesOfPeaches · 10/01/2018 22:01

Once the name calling starts then all respect has been lost.

Chapman198 · 10/01/2018 22:01

How do I move it to a relationship board

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 10/01/2018 22:02

Are you both prepared to go to counselling? You seem to have got into very unhealthy patterns and if you want to stay together you should get help to address those.

Butterymuffin · 10/01/2018 22:03

Click on the asterisks to report your own post, and ask for the thread to be moved to relationships.

Chapman198 · 10/01/2018 22:05

I don't even know what to think?

OP posts:
Chapman198 · 10/01/2018 22:54

She's put a lot of trust issues in my head now
I feel numb
I don't understand why I feel like I've been cheated on when I haven't but I do

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 11/01/2018 03:08

End it now. You are not suited for each other and your wife is a manipulative abuser.

category12 · 11/01/2018 07:52

Well if she was checking out this other woman online, with intent to hurt you (or cheat on you), then she achieved what she set out to do.

It may be that the relationship isn't salvageable and is exacerbating your mh issues.

You say you have a lot of bad days, is there more support you can take up?

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