Abusive relationship, please help me plan to leave

[Stuckinashittysituation]

Name changed for this.
I have been married for 5 years nearly and progressively the relationship has turned to utter shit.
It's a text book, he's a prick she forgives him he promises to get help with his anger and never does.

An example of said shitty behaviour is the constant belittling and name calling - fat cunt, prick, stupid whore etc

When things kick off and he has been physical (he will grab, push me or throw things around and break household items) he leaves and then sleeps in his car. A day or two later he will return saying he wants clothes and I like the idiot I am, always let him in. And sure enough he stays and nothing changes and when challenged he says perhaps I should look to myself for the issues and if I wasn't on his case all the time then he wouldn't be so pissed off.

I know I am stupid for allowing him back and one might argue this is self inflicted some what but I just need help planning my escape.

We have more than one child, one of which has a health condition meaning services they access are local. I don't have money but work so could squirrel some away possibly.

Please share success stories of leaving awful relationships successfully, I need to stop fooling myself that he will change.

I don't have a success story to share with you but we'll done for seeing that you need to make some changes.

Work out how much money you think you can put aside and how long that might take. Identify other people who can be on had to help with keeping him out and hopefully ensure he doesn't get physical. Tell youself every morning that you a worth so much more than this, as are your children.

I left a man like this and I never ever regretted it.

I would leave post documents to your parents or to a trusted friend. Then leave one day when he's out. Text him that it's over then get a new sim. Otherwise you'll get no peace. A man like that forces you to justify to him how you dared believe you had the right to leave him. That can go on for years. Get an intermediary (brother perhaps) to deal with him for the necessary communication wrt divorcing. Dont' worry too much about stuff in the house. I left everything I owned pretty much. It won't be long before it doesn't matter. I brought one spare outfit with me when I left. He still sussed me out and attacked me as I left. So be very careful. Act normal. Don't vary your routine at all.

contact women's aid.

Thank you for replying. I will try and do some maths tomorrow when I am at work. Stupidly I moved away from my home town so have a couple of friends and that's it who I can truly count on.

I do love him - well the him he can be - but I do realise that the abusive side isn't going anywhere. I never thought I could stay in a situation like this I really don't.

When we have argued and he has told me to get out but I can't take the children. It does have to be while he is out.

Leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time. The level of abuse can escalate and the abuser may well deploy all manner of nasty behaviours because they a) don't believe you will ever really leave and b) because they will hate you for finally standing up for yourself.
It won't be easy to leave and if your child is receiving regular health care then your partner is always going to know where he can find you even if you leave your current home. Please speak to an advisor at a specialist women's aid centre who will be able to provide you with information/advice on how to safely leave this man when you are finally ready and able to do so. Good luck.