Can't Agree on First Home Together

[Arsenal123]

Hi

My partner and I are looking to buy a house.

My partner wants to live closer to their family/work. (15 mins from workplace)

I personally would prefer to live closer to my own family who have agreed to provide childcare should we be lucky enough to have children. (40 mins from work).

Had it not been for the childcare agreement I could happily live closer to their work. However, I know we will feel it financially if we have to pay for childcare and unfortunately the in laws are much younger and have at least 20 years of mortgage payments keeping them in work.

We have good jobs but by no means are well-off. We get by but with a family it may become tough at times. To me it seems like a financial no-brainer but am I being pig-headed?

Please let me know if you have any thoughts or advice. I feel I may have to compromise to make our relationship work. I just worry about the future finances and providing the best for our potential future family.

Find somewhere in the middle of the two areas?

I don't think you can necessarily depend on family for childcare - it's easy to make promises, but the realities shake things out a bit. Also, who knows what the future brings in terms of health etc.

Perhaps slap in the middle ?

I think more pros and cons about things like prices and amenities are required, how well you get on with each other's families - I don't think the childcare/distance is enough to swing it.

Are you actively TTC at the moment?

If not, you should definitely go for the location closer to your DP's work, presuming it doesn't have a negative effect on your own commute.

If you are... hmm, these things can take time. I'd probably still go for the shorter commute.

This will affect your dp day in and day out. A 30 min commute or 1 hr 20 commute? That has financial implications, too, in terms of petrol or fares. Unless you are already pregnant, the rest is hypothetical and possibly years down the road.

Is there nowhere in between?

How far is each place from your work? You only mention being near your family for the second place.

There are places in between. I work in multiple locations so that aspect isn't a huge issue.

The commute distance is 5 miles from in-laws 15 mins or 30 mins with traffic.

The commute from my family's town is 30 mins or 60 mins in traffic (13 miles).

I just felt that with my sisters, nephews and nieces there would always be someone to help out should we need it.

House prices are more expensive in my home town, it has good schools and is close to beautiful National Parks.

We are looking to start a family in 2-3 years so yes this may be quite apprehensive planning.

If it’s about handy childcare then it would be better to live closer to your dh’s work as he’s going to be home much quicker.

How do you get on with MIL?

Hmm family childcare can go really wrong... perhaps get a Home wherever for now and consider moving when you have a toddler so you know status quo with childcare, know which schools you want plus you will have done your turn living close to the in laws!

It seems crazy to give your a partner a longer commute now For the next few years on the off chance you are able to conceive easily and your family are still willing to provide support!

You both need to learn compromise otherwise don't even consider buying together, and definitely do not bring kids into the equation.

Well I guess location isn't important in our current situation. I didn't want the hassle of moving in the future with ever increasing house prices but life is unpredictable and you have to live for the present. I guess I will be moving closer to the in-laws and partners work as in the very short term that would be most convenient.