If your father died when you were a child...

[ZisforZebra]

...do you have insecurity problems with your DH?

My father died when I was 14. He had a flu-type bug when i went to bed and was dead when I woke up. After he died, I became scared that my mum would die too and when I met my DH I transfered all that fear and worry on to him. (poor bloke!)

I've been with my DH for 11 years and it's really only in the last 4 years that I've not been totally climbing the walls when ever he's out. If he went out in the car, or out with DS or was home 10 minutes later than he said he'd be I'd be panicking that something would/had happened. I still worry that something terrible will happen to him but I manage to keep a pretty good lid on it these days and am trying to foster a more "if it happens, it happens" attitude.

I was talking to a friend today who also lost her father when she was young and has similar issues.

Anyone else?

No, but I didn't actually know my father (ran off and denied all responsibility when he found out my mum was PG), and was only told he had died several years after the fact, so possibly too different a situation to yours.

My dad died when I was 11 and I think I looked for a father figure in other men ever since. I don't worry in the way that you do but I think I have 'unnatural' issues surrounding men and relationships in general because I tend to see them all as father figures and if they cant fill that role I don't want to know

This is interesting, i lost my father when i was 12,he died suddenly in a tragic accident, i don't worry about dp but i have worried about my mum over the years always thinking she was going to be taken away from me too.

I don't think i have had many issues with men in my life & i also have never looked for a father figure so i suppose it has been different for me but i can see where you are both coming from & what is happening is fully understandable.