Please help

[mumof22017]

Please can someone please give me some advice on what to do. Ive been with my partner for 11 years since we was 18 and have a 9 and 2 yr old. My partner in that time cheated on me a one night stand in the very beginning and since has done various things ive caught him like messaging girls on xbox and on his phone but nothing physical. Anyway this all stopped after many fall outs about 5 years ago and the last 5 yrs have been perfect. Altho i thought, i am now devastated as i linked my partners phone to mine innocently and he knew to do something and found hes been looking at tonnes of porn. Stuff like teenagers and milfs and weird stuff aswell as normal. I know men look at this stuff im not stupid but after everything its shattered me that hes been doing this and now i feel numb. I want to throw him out as it feels like the final straw but i doubt myself abit that im over reacting but on the other hand i feel like if i tell him its ok and work it out etc im just letting him off again to do whatever he likes. Please help as i cant sleep.

Also im scared that the only reason ill forgive him is because of what people will say and the financial side would be a mess etc.

Porn is a deal breaker for some, not for others. It depends on the relationship and the opennrss and honesty surrounding the porn use I guess. But the teenage stuff is over the line really isn't it - presumably (someone correct if I'm wronh) the emphasis there is on being or appearing to be underage

How you feel is perfectly valid, you are not overreacting to be horrified, even if others wouldn't be.

Have you ever discussed porn use? Would he know automatically that it was a deal breaker for you?
That for me would be the difference. I respect that many people perceive it as cheating etc but if you have never had that discussion, he will, unfortunately claim innocence.
I'm sorry this has obviously opened some old (but possibly not relevant here) sounds for you.
You need to talk to him before making any decisions.

Yes its that thats bothering me alot he knows i dont like porn weve fallen out before and this was his last chance but he still carried on so i dont know im just scared to start over again

Not liking it, or it being a deal breaker are very different. One is disrespectful of your feelings, the other - what it says on the tin.
My sympathies are with you, I'm just trying to see this how he will undoubtedly present it to you.
Have you actually said 'if I found you'd used it-that would be it for us' the fact that he was fine for you to use his tech would suggest that maybe he isn't aware of the strength of your feeling?

Yes he knows i dont like it so feel disrespected and just dont have the ability to forgive and forget again after all the past mistakes. Such a mess feel like ive wasted my life