How do I help myself?

[Whatsthepointalready]

I've been with my DP for 7 1/2 years and probably the last 4 of those have not been great. He treats me well in some ways and awful in others. Now he's given me the cold shoulder for the last week and I have a feeling this might be the end. I'm feeling very depressed and so sad and I don't know how to pull myself together and out of this. For my own self respect I need to walk away. I rent and live by myself. But I feel so sad and alone. Mainly because I can see he just doesn't have enough to fight for me. I have no one i can speak to in rl and I just wish I was dead.

So you don't live together?

You know, if you make the decision not to see him and if you stick to it, you will find great strength in that because that action will improve your self-esteem. If you are proactive and kick anyone out of your life who makes it worse, you'll feel great. If you are reactive and let whatever happens happen, you'll feel much worse.

You feel sad and alone even though you're with someone. That shows he's not the man for you.

Yes I know that what I should do. We used to live together but I left 1 year ago and nothing has changed. You're right. I should just move On. But I feel so low. I have started smoking for the first time in my life and I feel like I should just carry on with that as something to look forward to.

I can see he just doesn't have enough to fight for me

Could you explain that a little bit more, if you can? Sorry, you sound so sad.

Oh come on, OP. There's more to look forward to than a cigarette! Put them away, put him away and look forward.

What do you like to do, besides smoking?! How would you like to live your life? Are you in a job that makes you happy? Do you have friends in the area? Are you happy living where you are now?

Why don’t you fight for yourself? It’s time to stop hiding in a relationship that isn’t working.

If your relationship has been on a down slide for more than half the time you've been in it, then it's not going to get better. It's just not.

Don't waste another minute of your precious life OP. Walk away and find peace in your own. And then, when you're ready, only accept someone into your life that treats you well all the time and brings good things to the table. Good luck.

Thank you. Yes I know this is all right. I feel very sad. My DP is not a bad person and I feel like I should have walked away a long time ago rather than stay in a relationship simmering with resentment until I ruin his life and mine. He's still the only person I really want to be with or enjoy talking to or has the same values but I know maybe I just don't have it in my anymore.