I only have my family

[ProfessorPickles]

I seem to be posting more miserable threads lately, and I'm sorry to post another but I just need to talk to someone about this.

I have very few meaningful relationships in my life and it makes me feel so lost and unhappy.

I'm extremely fortunate in that I have a strong relationship with both of my parents, I have two lovely grandparents and a wonderful son. I also have a brother I love dearly but he has an issue that worries me a lot and I worry I will lose him or that he'll divide our family with it.

I have a lovely family, I only wish it was bigger!
But outside of the people that 'must' love me, nobody really does. I have one or two good friends, but other than that there's nobody in my life by choice.

My best friend pretty much abandoned me and stopped inviting me to things such as their house warming and her birthday, despite me knowing everyone there (so there's no obvious reason).

I was single for a long time and finally met someone and fell for him, he has in effect chosen to never see me again. I truly believed he felt for me what I felt for him, and he was adamant he did (we no longer speak, my choice) but how could he if he's no longer a part of my life?

People do seem to like me but it feels like I seriously struggle to make meaningful relationships and then eventually anyone I truly care for decides not to bother.

There's nothing that I know I'm doing wrong but clearly there's something. I suspect I have autism but lack the confidence to pursue a diagnosis for various reasons.

It makes me sad that nobody cares apart from the people who don't really have a choice but to be in my life.
I'm a loving person and I crave physical and emotional connection, it breaks my heart that there is a barrier that I know is there but I can't identify what the issue is or work to resolve it.

I'm sorry for the self pity, but I needed to write this down and tell someone. The only person I could tell in RL is my mum and I know that she'd be heartbroken to hear this

Hi professor. I'm just heading to bed but I couldn't read and run. You're not on your own hun. There are many like you.

Like you, I am lucky to be close to my parents and sister. I also have my DH and our very young daughters. But I don't really have friends. Not real close friends anyway. I know exactly what you mean when you say you want to have a meaningful relationship with someone besides someone who "has to love you".

I don't have many words of wisdom right now. Nothing that will make you feel amazingly better anyway. You're welcome to pm me xx

Same here prof. Normally I d be lurking because I am not even sure that a post from me would attract any replies. But this resonated with me.

I have no friends. The Only people who bothered with me needed help for childcare but when I needed support no one was there.

It s not for fault of trying. This December I sent out about twenty Christmas cards and got nothing in return. Not one.

I must be missing something. Some women in my local area have besties and go out for coffes etc but I never get invited because I work during the day so not part of the school cliques

Oh well, not sure a diagnosis will help you much, there is a lot of support out there for adults with autism....

Good luck anyway

Thanks for the responses, I know it sounds a bit daft but just typing how I feel and putting it out there really helps as there's nobody in RL I would ever mention it to.

It's hard to keep feelings of misery trapped inside, especially when I feel panicked and anxious about how little effect I seem to have on any of it.

I'm really not sure what the answer is.

I love being a single parent, but I just need both emotional and physical connection with people who love me by choice, not because of relation.

I know it probably sounds weird but I had my nails done last week (I've been going to her for years now) and she gave me a hand massage at the end and it made me realise I never make physical contact like that in my life and it made me feel sad. It was so nice to feel another person on my skin, doing something so gentle and caring.
I'm not sure how to word that without it sounding creepy!! But what I'm meaning is that I just have no connection with anyone ever, it shouldn't be a such a rare occasion surely

prof I really get what you say. I’m probably in the same boat as you, no meaningful relationships as such, just friends, who I’m sure would be upset should something ‘happen’ to me, but equally very quickly get on with their lives.

In fact, you’re very lucky you have your parents/grandparents. My family is very fragmented, I would soon be forgotten about. However, I could probably say the same for them, because we don’t have that deep relationship.

I envy those loving families that really do look out for each other..

I’m in the same boat. I’m constantly “chasing” friendships. Trying to connect with people and nothing ever lasts. I’m a good, kind person and everyone says that but I can’t seem to find and keep close friends. It’s extremely lonely. I feel like I’m destined to be a loner! I’d love to know how people make and keep friends. I found a dance class I fancied going to but couldn’t think of a single person to invite to go with me! How sad is that? I’m actually thinking of radically changing my life. Selling up and moving somewhere totally different just so I can start again and try to meet new people. I’m out of options of what else to do!! Wish I knew the magic answer!

My friend made tons of friends at salsa

I could have written this post Professor. I'm a single parent, good family around me but no friends. Non at all. I have some colleagues who I get on with but no friends outside of work.

I sometimes have a panic that when I die nobody but my family will care. Everywhere I go there seem to be groups of friends and it seems so easy.

I've always been quiet, but since having a child I've became more and more withdrawn and socially awkward. I can't imagine connecting with people. Like you I crave physical contact.