I can't get over him

[duskmum]

I was dating someone from work and all was great. Before we had started dating we were friends and got on so well. However a week before Xmas things changed and he became distant so I called it a day and said let's be friends. He ignored me and refused to talk to me! We went back to work and he didn't say a word. He then decided to reply to my message I had sent 2 weeks previously whilst we were at work. I felt like he was trying to mess with my head! Today he asked if I wanted a drink, I replied no thanks. He then came back again and asked if I was sure and called me by my nickname he called me. He told me when we were dating he only gets the drinks in when I'm there. So therefore I feel he's messing with my head again.

It would be so much easier to get over him if we didn't work together. Yes I know business and personal don't mix! I just feel so upset when I get home. I miss him alot. We got on so well, he became one of my closest friends before the dating. I just feel he is messing with my head though doing these little things. How do I move on??

Bump

I would move on by saying, "Listen, we're not friends because of the way you behaved before Christmas. You became distant and refused to talk to me. Now you are banging on about going for a drink and it feels as though you're messing with my mind. Let's just call it a day and be civil and that's it."

Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. Men pull away, then spring back when you least expect it imo. I think it's just the way they are.
Don't be surprised if the more you resist, the more he tries.

brilliant he didn't ask me for a drink he was just getting some drinks for the office from the machine. But he never usually gets the drinks in. He said to me when we were dating he only done it when I was in because he wanted to speak to me. So I know what he was doing today was messing with my head and then calling me by my nickname he calls me.

Oakley yes before we were dating I backed away a few times as I was developing feelings. But the more I backed away from him the more he tried. He seems to like the chase I think. But that's not good for my feelings, it's hard to let him go.

Anyone else got any advice? For how to try move on

How old are you OP? You sound so inexpirenced with relationship s I would ask him straight out, don't obsess, he's just a living breathing human like you x

In 27. Not inexperienced but this guy confuses me. Sending so many mixed messages. What would I ask him though? He distanced himself from me for no reason I can think of. So I asked to be friends to protect my feelings and then he blocks my number so I can't contact him. Well apart from when he unblocked me responded then re blocked me. The only time we can speak is at work.

Keen as mustard before Xmas, cools off, keen as mustard afterwards?

Are you sure he isnt married/otherwise spoken for and he was cooling off so you didnt want to see him when he was with his family?

kipper i did have this thought. Because while we were just friends he was in a relationship. And one of the reasons I backed away was because of that. So when he said they had split that's when things started romantically between us. And I did have a niggle that maybe he was back with her. And maybe that's why I'm blocked.

Doesn't sound like much of a loss. Move on, you deserve better than someone who doesn't really know what he wants.

He may be sending ‘mixed’ signals but that doesn’t mean you have to pick up the transmission. His game playing games just confirms your lucky escape, not a missed opportunity, he isn’t interested in your feelings.

Ignore him!

I know I deserve better and I don't want to play stupid games. I don't know why I'm hooked on him. He is younger than me so obviously immature which is not a good thing. I don't know when we were friends we just got on so well. I think that's what I miss the most.

You sound a bit like you are trying to read attachment and affection where there is none. So he told you he only gets drinks in as an excuse to talk to you? Maybe he lied. Maybe this WAS the case before, but isn't any more.

You got on well before because he had an eye to getting in your knickers. He's had it now, so he's not interested. He's not 'messing with your mind' he just genuinely doesn't really think much about your feelings at all.

Just tell him to grow up, and stop dwelling on him. He's a player. Ignore him.

You're letting him have power over you that he is enjoying. Get assertive. Adopt a sophisticated persona and fake it until you make it with studied silences, non reactions, an amused nonchalance and telling yourself that he's a player. A predictable, annoying fuck-wit of a player and the world is full of the type so look on this encounter as the universe teaching you a lesson for the future.
And stop obsessing about him....he really isn't worth you giving him an more headspace OP.

Personally, it's the case once the cat catches the moose, it lose interest but then the moment it sees the moose getting away, the cat will start chasing.

OP, New Year, New You and no old bullshit! Tell him you are seeing someone else and the attention should be directed at someone else and not you. He will draw you in and the moment he catches you, he will throw you away like a toy.

2018! You are allowed to walk away from drama and anything that play with your peace.

Drink from a drink machine.... NO, you can do much better!

i just dont get that horrible game vickers i think he seems to enjoy it and the more distant/off i am the more he likes it!

Yes i have already been on another date with someone else and it went well. I just need to shake the work guy from my head!