It's just struck me how short life really is!

[sandytune]

I'm sorry if this upsets anyone at all it's not my intention.

I realise many people die very prematurely and sudden and I know first hand how heartbreaking that is.

What's just dawned on me though is that both my parents are over 60 and not one of my aunties or uncles have passed that age. Recently I've heard of a few deaths and it's just made me realise life is very short. Being 29 I'd thought I'd have realised this by now but I haven't and now it's in my thoughts all the time.

Neither of my parents are ill but my father does not live a healthy life by any means. Why was I so oblivious to this until now

I do not think we generally consider this until we lose someone or are aware that someone has passed at an early age. I never gave it a thought till losing my daughter aged 26 , 3 years ago. Now l constantly think about it

So sorry to hear that sandmum you are right. I have lost a lot of loved ones the past 2 years.

Yes, it's very short. It surprises me how oblivious a lot of people seem to be to that. Some friends of mine have questioned why I got married so young (25) had children so young (28, hardly a teenager) and why I gave up on salaried work to start a business. My answer is always 'because I had no idea how long I'd be alive.' They always find that answer a bit odd but it's the truth isn't it? I always wanted children so why would I wait till I was 30+ to do it - I could get cancer, break my legs, lose my partner, anything. Who knows what's going to happen. If I'm healthy now, I have to do it now.

One thing I don't want is to be on the road to death thinking 'shit, I wish I had...' When you take into account that one day in the really not very distant future (no matter how long you live) you simply won't exist any more, most things don't seem very scary or difficult. Why not do it? Who's going to even care? It's quite liberating really :)

Yes if you want to do something try to do it now!

Lots of people say, maybe in 5-10 years time I'll do X..... why wait...?

We all know this, but practically speaking our mind can't dwell on it all the time - it is healthier for us not to spend our time thinking about it. If you find yourself thinking about it constantly, that might wel be either because something is going on in your life that makes it relevant, or because your mental health is a bit wobbly at the moment (or both of course).

Is there something in your life that seems a bit stuck at the moment - making you feel as if you should be living your life differently?

I remember the realisation that I will die on day. It was around my 30th birthday, I was working in a hospital and seeing death regularly but one day it struck me.
I have thought about it over the years and have spoken to older people about it. I hope I live long enough to feel like I have achieved all that I want and see my children grow into successful adults. I now think of death as a long sleep, no more worries about money, no more stress and no pain.

I think it often comes to us when people close to us or close to our age die.

My family are incredibly healthy but I remember as a teenager thinking that someone dying in their 40’s was relatively old and how long it would be before I was even remotely close to that age. Now I’m in my 40’s and just over a year ago I almost died quite suddenly and have been left with a life limiting illness which, while I might not die of tomorrow I am unlikely to live to some ripe old age.

Also, my parents aren’t getting any younger but are in good health still. The idea that they’ll one day no longer be here is something I can’t even find it in my heart to contemplate, and yet realistically I know they have been on the earth longer than they are likely to remain here iyswim.

We do all have to live for today because tomorrow may not be in our plan.

Yes it is! Better to enjoy it while we can. Am approaching 39 and my mum passed away at 40. Didn’t realise how very young she was then since I was only 15

I'm 75. Given a bit of luck I could have another 10 years. Sometimes I think, sadly, "how old will my grandchildren be" by the time I die? The eldest probably married, the youngest 6th form age. Then I remember that some unfortunates don't even get to see their children grow up. And give myself a metaphorical kick up the arse.

I think like this op I am 26 and less than 1 year away from the age my ddad was when he died. It's so young and I don't feel like I've even lived yet, it has stopped me from just floating through life and aiming to do things that I want to do and even if I don't achieve my life goals I atleast tried and have lived, that is the way I look at it.

Thinking about it too hard creates anxiety so I will stick to assuming I will have a long life.

Does anyone think about what will happen after we die? That scares me the most.

@ juwayriyyah31

I'm not going into particularities about faith or otherwise, but think of it this way: If you believe in life after death, then fine..you've got some sort of consolation. If you don't, then...well, you won't know about when you're dead. Either way, it's not bad. We, humans, fear what we don't know or can't see.

A lady told me once that a life however short is still a complete life. No one knows how long they will live for but as you get older so do your parents and their siblings, funerals become more of a feature, its only when some one very young or very close to your age dies that you realise your own mortality. I know that when i die i will see my dd again, she was as healthy as could be but a simple viral infection turned into sepsis and then age 3 she was gone, life is fragile and needs to be lived.

phillipa

I seem to have been aware of this for as long as I remember - it made me very sad as a child. I used to sit in my bed at night praying that my parents would live forever - I must have been about 6 at the earliest I remember. I'd never experienced a family death until a few years later. I've also always been acutely aware of my own mortality. My parents were in their 30's when I was born so they were a little older than my classmates parents. I used to (and still do) calculate how old they will be when I'm certain ages to see the likelihood of them still being around. The older I get the more those calculations terrify me. Now they're OAPs I worry about health issues that arise and lifestyle factors. They've always been the most important people in my life and I literally can't imagine the world without them or how I would cope without them. It actually makes me emotional just typing that.

I went on to work in end of life care and now in the NHS with critically ill patients/palliative care. It's always on my mind - I guess my job is a big factor these days as I see people in the slow process of dying every day. I always have it in the back of my mind that anyone could be dead before I see them again - I never leave anyone in a bad mood, I always iron out any problems and give my family a hug before I leave the house.

I see patients who were absolutely fine yesterday - at work, home etc, then suddenly a stroke/bang on the head/car accident etc and now they're slipping away or have become a shadow of their former selves. I know how morbid and odd it sounds to be so preoccupied by it. It affects the way I view everything - in the grand scheme of things all the silly annoyances/inconveniences etc of life are utterly trivial. Life is so short and so fragile, most people don't see it until they're faced with the dying. I don't know why I was so aware of it when I was so young but I don't doubt that it led me to work in healthcare and to help others who face that fear for their loved ones as a daily reality.

juwayriyyah31 -

Look at it this way - if there is something after death, then that will be exciting! If there isn't, then we won't know.