We've been through hell this last year after losing our first baby. I'm pregnant and we are both a bit anxious about the same thing happening again.
I feel like our relationship isn't the same any more. Like we don't really have anything. We have loads in common. Since our baby died I haven't done much and I've been ill a lot with this pregnancy. We've hardly done anything together and the few times we have gone out together he's made a few rude comments about other people, not so they can hear, just to me. But it just makes me feel like he's being really harsh and judgemental of other people. It spoils what we do at the time. I told him he was very harsh about some people and he just laughed. Maybe I'm nit picking.
He's spending more time at work doing overtime and often brings work home.
Is this it? How it's going to be, I know he doesn't like his job, is over worked, worried about this pregnancy and greiving our baby. But every day just seems like were just existing.
We openly talk about our baby, but I never let him see me cry. And I cry everyday after dh has gone to bed. Sometimes I don't go to bed for hours, dh has no idea, he's fast asleep. Sometimes I won't be able to sleep till 4am and end up lying in bed till nearly lunch time, I'll be awake sometimes from 8am but just don't want to get up. It's so much effort. Sometimes I'll lie to dh about what I've done during the day, I'll say I've been out shopping, taken the dog out, seen a friend... actually I haven't done any of it. Everything feels like a huge effort.
We both have bereavement counselling together but most of it is consumed with talking about how badly dh's parents have acted.