How to get my EX GF out my brain

[samthoams98]

So me and my EX have been split up for over two months now, she was the first ever girl I had dated and I was completely infatuated in love with her, it was a bitter breakup as she moved on and started dating one of my friends after three weeks of us splitting up which hurt alot.

I'm still healing and finding it very hard to move on I really don't know why I can't move on yet but she's happy and technically in a new relationship with this guy 24/7? Just makes me feel worthless as our relationship mustn't have meant anything. I feel like I'm more concerned with what she's doing that what I'm doing which is completely stupid. I'm never been the type of guy to care a whole bunch when things don't work out as I just get on with it because that's life.

Except I feel like I'm becoming obsessive with the social media stalking but I can't stop? I have her blocked on stuff but then I just end up blocking and looking again and It's ridiculous. The thing is we don't have any contact but we see each other most days at college. A lot of the stuff I'm doing is just not allowing me to move on which then puts me back to square one again, I just don't know how to deal with my feelings and I keep on feeling stupid coming to forums asking for advice but I can't get this girl out of my head.

When people have bad breakups which I completely understand, they decide to move on. She was disloyal to me and nobody know's because I never wanted her to look bad because I'm not that type of guy. How can I still care way to much for a girl that hurt me so much?

I just want to find this steady medium of not thinking about her as soon as I wake up and before I go to sleep.

Any help :/ ?

I think as long as you check up on her it will make it harder especially in the early days of a break, up it does get easier though you will go from thinking about her alot to one day realise you haven't.

I don't know if it's possible to edit the thread but I'd like to add that I've tried so many ways in order to get over my ex. All the generic stuff those breakup websites give you.

Give yourself a break. It's only been two months! There is no miracle quick fix to get over heartbreak, especially from your first love so forget the 'advice'.

It takes time:, accept that what you are going through is normal. Painful but normal. We've all been through it. We all thought it was a hell that would never end. But then one day we woke up and realised we hadn't thought about our ex for a whole half hour. Then one day it's a whole hour. Then it's a whole day. Then one day we spot them and.... nothing. No pain, no love, no hatred. And it's all over, we 'cured'!!

Yeah you're completely right, I was getting like that not having the thoughts as much then I'd see something that reminded me of her or something.

It's so hard not to think about her!

That's perfectly normal! Accept it. It will reduce in time. Soon even 'your song' won't remind you of her. Give yourself time. Be kind to yourself!

Give yourself a set time in the day when you allow yourself to think about her, feel emotional etc. At your other "trigger" times such as the start and end of the day, distract yourself with something else such as going for a run, music, the radio, breakfast TV, anything which takes your mind off things so you can recharge. Allow yourself to confide in friends that she didn't treat you particularly well, and you can even say you don't want her to look bad, but they'll be able to support you only when they know what you've been through. Don't keep people at arm's length when they would want to be there for you. It's tough but in time you will meet someone who is right for you.

I appreciate your comment, just feel as if I'm going through hell atm and I shouldn't be this stressed over a girl; I'm only 18 its taking a massive impact on my study's also.

It is said that what you resist persist, so I am not fighting the love I feel for my ex. I have opted for no contact, have blocked him in social media so I can’t get “updates” on his life that cause me pain or give me false hope.

I have accepted that I would love him until I stop loving him, and this has bring me some peace. Is going ok, no excruciating pain, just a bit of gratitude for what was good for a time but was not meant to be.

Does the college have a counsellor you could talk to? It can be good to get your feelings off your chest by talking with someone who is neutral but also qualified. If this is affecting your studies it could be worthwhile. You deserve a good future and to be able to keep living your life and achieving your goals, even though you're understandably sad about the end of the relationship.

Yes I agree with the suggestion talking to someone. Sounds like you are grieving the loss and it will help move you to acceptance
It’s normal to take a while to get over it and let go 🙂

Sam, you had a recent thread on this
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3114328-How-to-get-over-my-ex-now-shes-dating-my-friend?msgid=74574443
Didn't you get the answers you wanted on that one?

Clearly not Whataload or he wouldn't have started this one!

OP when my first love and I split after 5 years I was crushed. Didn't think I'd ever move on. But today I can see him and feel not one iota! Absolutely zilch.

So hang in there. This too shall pass and it will.

Do whatever it takes to stop yourself looking at her social media. It will bring nothing but pain and reopen wounds

Pink But he's going to get precisely the same answers this time as almost a month ago because nothing as changed.

Pink, you've basically said exactly what he was told on his previous thread though.

How are you today OP?

Are you exercising? If not start. It will help you if you feel better physically because your bosy releases happy hormones.

Good thankyou, It's slowly getting better. Sorry if anyone is annoyed I've made another post I was doing well then got hit back to square one.

I have about 10 studys lessons with my ex and of course my old friend she's dating is in there too. Just nothing but pain when shes over exaggerating with laughter so I will hear.

I ended up missing nearly 3 weeks of college when we broke up because my health was so fuc*ed and I didn't wanna be there.

She keeps making eye contact with me as if she wants to talk but I don't want any shite to do with her.

Trying my best not to check social media as she's one of them girls that post their hole life to social media so it wouldn't be hard to see what she's having for dinner.

I have a girl coming over friday to just kick it back and chill watch some films but why do I keep feeling that it isn't right or the same?
Thankyou all so very much for helping me out.

I just want to find this steady medium of not thinking about her as soon as I wake up and before I go to sleep
Any help

Yes, go back to the previous thread, reread it and follow the advice that people gave you.

Because it isn't the same, she isn't the girl you were in love with, getting over being in love is hard especially first love. I remember eating a giant bag of marshmallows when I was a teenager and crying to the point of making myself sick because the beautiful Robert wasn't interested in me.

Time is a great healer, it's an old cliche but true.

Concentrate on you studies, do lots of exercise, don't drink alcohol at all or hardly any as it's worse after and don't jump in to another relationship until your ready.

One day you will look back like me, Robert will be some middle aged man now. I have no idea where he is or what he did with his life. I now look back on my marshmallow episode and still feel for that young naive girl but know there is just so much more to life and look back a little embarrassed.

Good luck.

It's very hard that you have so many classes together. Are there any other colleges in your area that you could look at transferring to?

Block her on social media. When you get the urge to look at her profiles, give yourself something else to do instead. Something healthy. Go for a run. Grab a shower. Call a friend and ask if they want to hang out.

The posters who keep telling him to read the other thread are unkind. He only wants to express his thoughts and feelings and that is what this forum is for! It's the nature of first love (or crush) to be all consuming and if he wants to talk some more he is welcome.

Keep posting OP if it helps.