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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I regain my self confidence before it's too late?

1 reply

Justonedayatatime11 · 07/01/2018 23:15

I don't know where to post this so it's here for traffic.
After 3.5 years of being a single parent, I met my dp. He is one in a million. Everything I could ever wish for. But my total lack of self confidence is such a massive issue that I'm going to ruin everything. Prior to dp I was cheated on and lied to by both my previous long term partner and my exh. Exh also emotionally abusive, tried to convince me I was mentally unstable etc.
I deliberately opted to stay single for such a long time as I was fed up of being treated so badly and thought it best I tried to find some self confidence. Which I did. I now know I can cope perfectly well alone.
But my stupid stupid head won't let me accept that I'm enough for my dp. I have absolutely zero self confidence. None whatsoever. I'm relatively young and just want to hide myself away as I'm constantly worried people are judging me and finding me lacking, or looking at me and wondering what the hell my dp is doing with me when he could do so much better.
Dp is a star. He reassures me far more often than anyone should have to that he loves me and he wants me. But I still look at myself and think I can never ever be good enough for him, or anyone.
How the hell do I get past this before I ruin the best thing that's ever happened to me?

OP posts:
BackInTheRoom · 07/01/2018 23:23

By receiving counselling?

Writing a list of all your positive attributes and achievements?

By reading books about how to boost self esteem?

By exploring your past and identifying issues that may have contributed to how you feel now?

By doing gentle exercises to increase your strength and sense of achievement?

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