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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH on work trip abroad with woman friend/colleague

7 replies

StrawberryGin · 07/01/2018 18:04

They message each other often, meet up for coffee/wine and have been out for dinner together. DH usually tells me after he's been out with her and believes that he's doing nothing wrong as their meetings aren't secret and they are to discuss work.

However, I feel uncomfortable about this relationship and raised my concerns with him. He said that I was being silly and nothing was going on.

I saw a few of the text messages and they said things like, "I could listen to you all day" and "I'd do anything for you. Seriously". Plus they used terms of endearment calling each other "lovely".

DH said he understood my concern, that he was sorry and that he'd reduce the interaction between them. But they continue to work closely together in the office and this isn't going to change.

The worst thing for me is that next week they are flying to Spain together for three nights for a business meeting with a client. I am beside myself worrying about what will happen even though DH has said I should trust him because he loves me.

Am I being paranoid? Up to now we've always had a very loving, close relationship. Should I trust him

OP posts:
StrawberryGin · 07/01/2018 18:07

Sorry, missed out beginning of thread:

DH works closely with a woman at work who he really likes.

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 07/01/2018 18:08

I would be very, very wary. This is exactly when my ex husband started an affair, when away from home. He'd had mentionitis beforehand but never mentioned her again. I should have realised it was still continuing.

Those messages are not the sort you exchange with friends. I text my friends all the time and have never said anything like that to them, have you?

molifly · 07/01/2018 18:09

I think deep down you know it's either an emotional affair that is a ticking time bomb for physical or it's already happened.

Address it now and don't be the one that looks back and feels silly. Hand hold

Bellamuerte · 07/01/2018 18:16

I would have been unhappy about this before the work trip was even thrown into the mix, and would have insisted on no messages and no contact outside of work. I don't see how your DH can refuse to go on a work trip though?

HipNewName · 12/01/2018 10:17

bump

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 12/01/2018 10:53

"I'd do anything for you. Seriously"

This is not appropriate for work colleagues, it is in emotional affair territory. Sorry.

BatFaceGal · 12/01/2018 11:18

Why do you keep starting threads about this and now yet another one you've bumped?

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