i finally left him , it feels great, any advice how to be fooled into going back

[Cottontaill]

I finally left him after three years. It feels like a weight is lifted from my soul.I spent the most part of those years being confused, worried, it changed me, i couldn't recognize what i became. He would switch from being loving to a bully within seconds. He would distort reality, lie, brake promises, insult and put me down constantly. Everything was always my fault, even things that happened years before we met....Then he d be the nice guy again, knowing all the nice things to say and promises to make. Only to contradict himself with his actions shortly after. If i dared to disagree or present a reality to his imaginary events or call him out for his lies he d get really really angry within seconds. Never accepted responsibility for anything. Deeply vengeful, at slightest perceived wrong he would do things to "teach people a lesson". He would call me an embarrassment and a cheat because i had another relationship years before i met him. The list is endless
I left him before but his promises and messing with my mind tricked me into going back. I feel that this time there is no return. I blocked him from everything but i keep getting notifications for blocked messages and calls(lumia 535 if anyone knows how to stop that)with preview of the blocked messages. I feel strong but any tips on how not to get tricked and stay strong would be greatly appreciated

I have not read it but one of my friends swear by the book ‘It’s called a break up because it is broken’.

I left a similar toxic relationship a year ago. I had split with him 5 years before and went back and had kids. This time I knew I had to be strong, and when I left that was it.

There are going to be lonely days/nights/weeks/weekends, where you will probably think about them/miss them. What you have to remember is that is totally NORMAL. Doesn't mean you should get back with them, and it doesn't actually mean you miss THEM, maybe you just miss the closeness you had with someone.

What I would say is, make a list of all the negative things that happened in your relationship. When you have a weak moment, consult the list. If you want to contact them, remind yourself of a bad memory.

Can you contact your phone provider and change your number? If you don't want to do that, could you change phones? It's quite cheap to buy a second hand iphone or other phone that actually blocks numbers properly.

Lastly, work on yourself now. Fill your days with new hobbies, activities, meet up with old friends that maybe you lost contact with. Build a solid life that makes you happy being by yourself, because when you have that you'll realise you don't need anyone else

*went back and had kids, meaning we got back together and ended up having kids together. lol. Don't make that mistake! Although love my kids.

Great advice by Meow .... be kind to yourself.

Long term you will have a happier, fulfilling life.

Cottontaill we are here to support you. I concur with Chaos' post above. Also check out 'After Narcissistic Abuse' online or Facebook. It will help you I promise. It will put into words what we struggle to even describe. You have been strong and you can keep being strong. Talk to people you truly trust and share your experience. Also write it all down for yourself. I stilI do this to help reinforce my understanding and recollection of what happened. When you do enter a relationship with a 'normal' person you will realise it was never your doing, it was who/what he is and always will be in a relationship 💐