Anger/name calling

[Sugarplumvillage]

My DP of 2 years clearly has an anger issue. I've done everything I can to try and help him when he asks for help.

During arguments he gets personal/calls names. I can't cope with this anymore.

I can argue and disagree but it has to be healthy! I find he gets toxic. Attempts to back me into a corner, manipulates and calls me names.

The latest of many is just 5 minutes ago he responded with "Don't fucking right me like that you silly arse", he apologised instantly but to me now, sorry is just a word.

I've given him copious amounts of techniques to try and deal with his anger, he tries for a day and then it's back to not addressing the problem. He is due EMDR shortly for PTSD.

What do I do?

Just to add yes I can argue, we all can but I see it more as a problem to be fixed, not a slanging match.

What do you do? Well it's up to him to control himself.
I'd leave, why should you have to cope? Relationships should be rewarding

I agree I need to leave. He clearly has no respect for my boundaries. I've told him multiple times name calling is a deal breaker for me. I have to follow through on that. If I don't, he will continue.

Sick of wasting my life away arguing. My whole day has come to a stand still now.

Plan your exit then. I wasted years in a relationship like this. Don't be me ☺

You cannot save him or fix him, he has to want to do that. Its not your fault he is like this, you did not make him this way. Such men actually hate women, all of them.

Make plans to leave this individual as soon as possible. You need to indeed follow through in respect of your post of 11.40.

Sick of wasting my life away arguing. My whole day has come to a stand still now.

I empathise completely with this.
It doesn’t get any better.

LuxuryWoman2017 can I have a little bit of background on your story please (if you don't mind, if not that's absolutely fine).

Allabitmuchisntit Awful isn't it. I'm taking steps today to not get sucked in to the argument. I HATE conflict. My anxiety goes through the roof.

The thing is though he has absolutely nowhere to go, I'm not even minimising. He has no family at all and no friends in the area. He moved in with me from a town miles away, he left his job and got another local to be with me, so we could start a life together

Sure, he was my first serious relationship all was fine the first few years when we had money and a healthy love life. He always had a temper which became volcanic when our child arrived and he showed his true abusive colours.

A nightmare which I am happy to be out of. We are thriving now.

Does he have friends in his old town? You cannot allow the fact he moved stop you. He's an adult, even if he doesn't act like it. He'll cope!

@Sugarplumvillage

You're worried he has nowhere to go? Uh is he worried about you when he's hurling abuse at you?! No! See that right there, that putting himself first before you business, that's what keeps you in this cycle of abuse! You'll break it when you're able to stand up and say;

'Do you know what love, I don't have to put up with this abuse anymore and I don't even care where you go'.

That'll be you putting yourself first. Good luck x