Not present during sex

[Whatshisnameagain]

Last night me and the oh had sex but I felt as if he wasn't in the room with me, as if he wasn't present with me. It's an awful feeling and I can't shift it. I almost feel as if I was used as a wank sock. He hardly looked at me 😯 Is this gut feeling inside me completely wrong? Or do you think you shouldn't ignore this type of stuff?

Me and oh together 2 years

Just Ask him what was bothering or preoccupying him last nightmare

I did... He denied it, said it's in my head

Don't ignore it. Talk to him. Sex should not make you feel like that.

Have you felt like that before? Or is this something new?

It's a communication problem then. Don't know what to suggest when someone won't communicate in an open and adult way but know how frustrating it is 🙁

Hope someone comes along with better advice for you

See if it happens again? Maybe he was just tired? TBH, I doubt there are many of us who haven’t had their minds elsewhere during sex occasionally. I don’t see it as a big deal unless he continues to do it now that he knows it’s upset you.

I've tried talking to him, just denied it, turned it around on me saying it's all in my head 😒. Yes it happened before, I used to accuse him of thinking of other women during sex because I just felt as if he wasn't in the same room as me, if that makes sense.

"when someone won't communicate in an open and adult way but know how frustrating it is" 🙁 hit the nail on the head lovely.

Thank you for your responses.

Supposed to be going for a nice day out together today, tickets booked but it's rattled me that much I don't want to go .

Just to add, what he said after sex made me think to, he basically complimented the sex but said it in what sounded like a forces fake way

Forced*

I wonder if there's a way to shift the conversation so it's more about what you want him to be doing rather than an accusation/criticism which he's likely to get defensive about and shut down the conversation. I also say this because of your comment about him thinking about other women, and I may not be of the popular mindset here, but really you can't police what goes on in people's heads during sex. I love my DH but I think about all sorts of stuff during sex that isn't to do with him, but it doesn't mean I'm an inattentive lover. That latter part is what your partner needs to work on - whatever is going on in his head, he should be making you feel better than a wank sock.

If he says it’s all in your head, he knows you aren’t being satisfied by sex do how is he proposing to work with you to ensure you do feel loved and cherished

If he’s not proposing to work together so you do feel satisfied and are not being used then don’t have sex. Nobody should feel like that and I certainly couldn’t imagine continuing to use my partner if I knew he was feeling the way you are. If your feelings makes him anything other than concerned, he doesn’t value highly enough.