Can I please fall apart?

[OversizedCardigan]

I am going through divorce (ex has EA then left). My dad is terminally ill and my best friend in the world has just been diagnosed with an aggressive type of beast cancer. I have to fire someone at work for gross misconduct on Monday which will make me seem as a total bitch as he is well loved. I am 35, no children. I spend my weekends trying to catch up with what I didn’t manage during the week. I come home to an empty house each night.

I feel so overwhelmed. So lonely. And all I want is for my ex to put his arms around me and tell me everything will be ok. I know I’m better off without him but still. I just want to fall apart and be held. Just for a little bit.

No need to reply, I just needed to get this out of my system.

here for you OP! Get it all out

Thank you. I love flowers 😊

Its okay to fall apart

Can’t offer advice but sorry you are feeling so low, sounds like a rubbish situation to be in.

That sounds all very stressful and so much to deal with alone. So yes you can fall apart here... cry, rant, write... whatever helps.
Then. Then take each things separately and consider if there is anything you can do that will help. E.g. having plans to visit and see your dad, or things you need to ask him or say to him or experience with him. Or your friend- would having a pamper afternoon or an evening out with her help you or her? When I was diagnosed I felt that I suddenly became a cancer patient and all anyone wanted to talk to me about was cancer. My best friend came round with a bottle of wine some Maltesars and some chic flicks and we had a great time just being us. Other friends helped by offering lifts or meals or childcare help...so maybe there is something there you can do? And the work situation is you being professional and doing what needs to be done: he has done something wrong for gross misconduct so you are only doing your job, head held high and maybe decide on a sentence to repeat for anyone who asks “.. it is unfortunate that it was necessary for this to happen.” and

Life has really flung some shit at you hasn't it 😔. No words of wisdom except keep going and take care of yourself. Do you have support from other people?

just wanted to send these and say I'm thinking of you.

Big hugs from me too. You're having a really shit time of it at the moment. Make some time for yourself this weekend. Soak in the tub, read a book. Anything that will make you feel nice for a while.

Thank you everyone. You don’t know what this means to me.

I will take a couple of hours just to relax now. Make some nice lunch, put on an episode of the crown and have a little rest (and cry). Then I’ll make a list and start working through.

My dad doesn’t live in the same country as me. I was with him at Christmas, probably for the last time. We do FaceTime though when possible.

I have some friends but seem to be losing quite a few through the divorce. I’m finding this quite a lonely process.

big hugs from me, too. you doing very well, you are very strong. there will be nice things happening, too. pamper yourself a bit.

Thank you.

OP, you are such a strong person! Perhaps I can't give advice on the rest, but about firing that person: you know you are doing the right thing! You are just doing your job and are professional. If we are talking gross misconduct then that's it.

Have a lie in tonight, some lovely food, read, watch tv series and try to distract your mind from the bad and push it towards the good. Negative thoughts attract negative things in your life.

Sending you warm hugs!

Thank you. A couple of hours of me time has turned into a whole afternoon - guess I needed it. Waiting for pizza delivery at the moment.

@OversizedCardigan Good job, OP! If you're off work today, just repeat! You deserve it!

That's a whole load to bear, it's not surprising you're feeling low. I remember when I had to dismiss someone for gross misconduct and like your colleague, he was a lovely man, but he'd done some something wrong that couldn't be ignored. Deep breath, you can do it.

I've had a tough couple years, but it's getting better and yours will too. Be kind to yourself & take great care.

Thank you. I’m feeling a little better about everything today.

Hope your meeting with said employee goes/went as well as can be expected. Keep on being kind to yourself. x

So sorry you are going through so much.
It's horrible and you are having to cope alone.
But you know you'll get through it.
I really hope today wasn't too bad.
I'd hate to have to fire someone.

Thank you. It was horrible but it’s done now, and I didn’t have a choice.