Please help

[nikki101jj]

I have been with my partner nearly 5 years now I have a 6 year old son from a previous relationship and me and my current partner have a 2 year old son together, my partner can be so loving at times and the best dad I could ever ask for for my sons, we have had a terrible past though he cheated stole of me and I forgave him he did change in that aspect but now there is a big problem come arise and it only happens when he sees he's doctor, he plays on mental illness to get special medications called zopicone and olanzapines he doesn't even really take the olanzapines which are for schizophrenia he tells the dr he hears voices etc when actually it's the medication making him mad, he abuses zopicone tablets which are a sleeping pill he will use a months worth (28) within 3 days, I asked him why and how dangerous this was he simply replies "too get a high throughout the day" he's more like a comatose zombie walking around he gets angry and shouts and me and our children and is very nasty to me with words, within the 3 days he's back to he's normal loving self until next month my 2 year old son is completely besotted with my partner, he promised me numerous times he will stop this but he doesn't stop and I don't think he ever will has anyone ever been with someone with an addiction before i am very scared of him at these times, my parents tell me I should leave him but I do love him and so do my children I am just fed up with him acting out every month thanks guys

Ultimatum time I think.
Does he work?

Why do so many people on Mumsnet describe their partner as an amazing dad and then list a series of things that make it clear he’s the exact opposite?

1. he’s a thief.
2. he’s a liar
3. he’s a drug addict
4. he’s arguably criminally obtaining prescription drugs as I think you’re saying he’s not actually schizophrenic but pretends he is (sidebar: I find it hard to believe a psychiatrist would be fooled by this so maybe I’ve misunderstood you)
5. he spends the day off his face and would be dangerous to be left alone with the kids.
6. he’s experiencing auditory hallucinations that either aren’t being treated or are being brought about by drug use (sidebar: if he actually is schizophrenic this in no way makes him a bad parent, but if he’s refusing to take treatment he is an irresponsible one. If it’s self-inflicted then he’s risking the kids because he doesn’t know what “symptoms” he’ll experience next).
7. he shouts at the kids
8. he’s nasty to you.
9. he repeatedly makes promises he doesn’t keep.

He’s not a good parent and he’s not a good partner. Get rid.

You are worthy of a partner who is honest, and willing to work on his mistakes because his first priority is to treat you and your children with respect.

OP, you can't save him! He won't get help! They are manchildren! Get you and those kids the hell out of there!

Hi all thanks for the helpful messages, no he doesn't work that's why he's made all this up he's a benefit cheat he wanted to get on esa and he has done it that's how easy it is to fool our so called system, it's actually abusing medication that is sending him loopy, he moved over from Ireland 6 years ago for a reason I still don't know he said it was to be with he's uncle but it wall all lies as he's so called uncle turned out to be just a friend who doesn't talk to him anymore, I have him a place to live I have brought him everything but I have taken your advice and now Is my time in changing I am going to live for me and my children to have a better life thank you all

I like this quote: Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

Good luck and best wishes, you and your children deserve to be happy and safe.

OP. He sounds frightening. I don’t know how you’re living with him.

For the sake of the children who will be being damaged by his behaviour you need to find a way to get away from him. He’s a free loader. He needs reporting to the authorities. Get away. Call Women’s Aid for support and direction.

Go for it Nikki ! Best wishes and sending hugs for a much more carefree life minus him! xxoo

Does he know what his behaviour is like when he takes these drugs?
Angelf1sh has listed his unpleasant attributes and it sounds like you've had enough of all that.
The children love him, so how very upsetting it must be for them when he is acting weirdly every month.
I hope you and the children can get a better life for yourselves.

OP I really think you and the kids must leave him ASAP, he sounds dangerous! And his behaviour clearly shows he is not a good dad. Best of luck

Moratorium on calling these men good dads in the same breath as describing utterly despicable behaviour.

Throw him out.

Well said, Battle. Nothing about this man sounds good!!

@Angelf1sh has got it spot on. Plus a benefit cheat too. Why are you with this criminal piece of scum? What a poor example he’s setting to your sons. Is this how you want them to grow up?

Zopiclone -

Serious side effects are rare, but you should tell your doctor as soon as possible if you:

lose your memory - this is called amnesia
see or hear things that aren't real - these are called hallucinations
fall over, especially if you're elderly
think things that aren't true - these are called delusions
feel low or sad - this could be a sign of depression

I find it hard to believe that a psychiatrist would misdiagnose schizophrenia, even with someone trying to pretend.
Are you sure he is not just in denial and these episodes are part of schizophrenia?
Along with abusing zoplicone whicj the serious side effects fit what you describe.
It does claim that they are addictive abd only prescribed for a short time.
If it was a true addiction though, wouldnt he need it more than 3 days per month?
How does it get the prescription monthly?

He should be seeing a psychiatrist regularly, surely, if he has a diagnosis of schizophrenia and on drugs a GP cant prescribe without the say so from a specialist.

Is there no way you could speak to the psychiatrist without him knowing and tell them what you have said here?

His MH aside - this is not a good setting for you or your dc. He is being irresponsible and unwilling to change. I hope you get you and your dc in a more stable environment because that is what you deserve

Op sling him out