Emotional recovery after leaving a controlling relationship?

[Zoo33]

I might as well be asking how long is a piece of string, but for those who left a controlling or emotionally abusive relationship, how long was it before the heartbreak stopped and you felt happy that you'd left? And how long before you felt ready to meet someone new??

I have another thread on this so won't go into details but I somehow feel like I shouldn't be the one that's so upset. It's only been a few weeks since I left (4 year relationship with no children (but a very recent miscarriage)), but I'd love to hear others' success stories of getting out and moving on with their lives and love lives. It'll bring me hope that I won't feel this low forever.

focus on the freedom and little joys you have every day that you didn't before. it took me a good 9 months of trauma recovery and grieving time, then i started to feel happy and to look after myself better. now 2 years later I'm honestly comfortable with my life.

Initial elation, then a few weeks felt pretty low, but it slowly lifted. It was this time of year, and it was really hard. It was the beginning of spring, and just starting to plan things, and it was then that I started to get into the swing on things, and just over a year later I'm more content than I've been in ages.

As you've been in an EA relationship, have you lost contact with friends? If so, get back in touch.

My miscarriage hit me very very hard, and took me a long time to recover from. Give yourself time to grieve properly, before you try to emotionally deal with everything else.

Thanks @BendyLikeBeckham @SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower .

I had lost contact with lots of friends so I'm planning to go visit them once I'm a bit more settled with finding somewhere to live.

It does feel a bit like emotional overload at the moment (doesn't help that I hate my job and location), I just need to remember to take it day by day. It would be nice to be able to fast forward through the next 6 months!

I'm 11 months out of a 21 year relationship. First three months I don't know how I functioned. I started seeing someone in a friends other benefits set up, and I started to feel more human again. I'd say it's only been the last 2 months I've felt happier. A lot of that is because I still have contact with him because we have kids And he hasn't made it easy.

I had a mc many years ago, I think I felt better from that respect after a year or so. Maybe I only really got over it once I had my first DS. Give yourself time and think about counselling if you haven't already. 2 losses close together Is hard for anyone.

Thanks @pudding21. Sorry to hear about your miscarriage and that your ex didn't make life easy for you when you left - mine seems to be digging his heels in out of spite (doesn't want to close the joint account so I need to convince the bank to freeze it). Although then he apologises profusely and begs me to reconsider so he's clearly trying every trick in the book.

I guess there's no quick fix is there? I tried counselling last week but she just repeated everything I said back to me which I didn't find very helpful. Might need to find another one to try.