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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I slept with my ex

9 replies

queenbeach · 05/01/2018 21:38

Me and ex split up a couple of months ago, I'm currently a couple of months off giving birth to our first child together and we've only had contact as far as baby was concerned

Today he stopped by at my house for a cuppa and a chat, we ended up getting a little too snuggly and slept together :|

I feel like such an idiot because I still love him very much but I know he doesn't want a relationship with me. I'm just feeling like such a nob because any getting over him I'd done has not been completely reversed.

Someone give me a slap please

OP posts:
queenbeach · 05/01/2018 21:39

Has *now been completely reversed, sorry, wrote this in a mad flustered rush

OP posts:
sarahjconnor · 05/01/2018 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MajesticWhine · 05/01/2018 21:45

That's ok. It happens. Can you be angry with him for hurting you, instead of with yourself.

something2say · 05/01/2018 22:36

It's not been completely reversed, not completely.....you'll see. Congratulations on your baby btw x

Silvereyes · 05/01/2018 23:23

Please don’t beat yourself up, we all make mistakes.

You’re facing becoming a single parent when you (all patents-to-be) need loads of support.

Please be be kind to yourself xxx

MamaElle · 05/01/2018 23:26

Hey, go easy on yourself. You're carrying his baby, it's perfectly natural to feel close to him or desire to be close to him. Sending you a big hug right now. Don't stress.

queenbeach · 05/01/2018 23:59

The nob hasn't even messaged me or anything after I feel like such a cheap worthless FOOL 😑

And it's totally brought back a glimmer of hope to me that he might want me back despite the fact I KNOW he doesn't.

So so so annoying

OP posts:
MamaElle · 06/01/2018 00:13

Just move on from it. (Easier said than done, I know). It was an understandable "mistake" to make. Hold your head high and don't let him make you feel cheap because you are most certainly not. You're actions are understandable, like I previously said. You are carrying his child. What is his excuse for acting like a prick? (Sorry for the term about the father of your child, he is acting like one but that doesn't mean he is, so sorry).

My point is, he should be treating you like a queen, that's right, queenbeach. You are carrying his lineage, his fruit, you will raise the continuation of his genes! You're amazing.

You're planning on doing this by yourself and I am 8 months into this doing it alone with your fist child thing and I can tell you that whist it is undoubtedly the hardest, everlasting, never ending task you will ever embark on, (please God) it is also the most rewarding and worthwhile one...is it your first child or first child with your ex? Either way, it's tough and if not your first child then you are well aware of what I mean!

All I am really saying is you're doing so well, don't beat yourself up for being a completely normal woman with a beating heart, red blood and feelings. He may actually not be acting like a prick and may just feel awkward.. I really don't know so I shouldn't comment in that regard but my main focus is on getting through to you that you should not be worrying yourself over what happened. Nurture yourself. You have a beautiful life growing inside of you and that little life is wreaking havoc with your emotions right now so please, go easy on your lovely self and relax.

At least you're still desireable and sexually appealing! Tweak your perspective on it and try to laugh about it.
Take each day as it comes.
That was the best advice I was given, by my mama, when I was pregnant and it keeps me going now too.

Lots of love, queenbeach.x.

Namechanger2735 · 06/01/2018 00:22

I have a child with my ex and am currently 33 weeks pregnant with our second. He kicked me out because of this (unplanned) pregnancy and has shown 0 interest in this baby and dwindling interest in our 1 year old. It's such a confusing feeling of wanting to be with him because then things will be 'Perfect' and we'll be a family..but at the same time hating him for what he's done. I sympathise!
I do have to say though, if you're not together I think you really need to distance yourself in terms of him popping round for a chat. When your baby is here and if he wants to be involved then you accommodate that but until then him coming round will only end badly

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