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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My boyfreind has turned distant but insists he's still interested?

6 replies

lozza16 · 05/01/2018 14:42

I'm gonna try and keep this as short as possible> We met 6 months ago and it was instant chemistry. We fell in love pretty quickly and we used to talk all the time about how surprised we were at our feelings and how we had never felt like this before.

Anyway a month ago he started calling less, he would still drive the few hours to come and see me but the communication between us seeing each other was lacklustre. I'm not usually clingy but we used to talk on the phone several times a day. this turned into a 5 minute call. I told him that I felt like he wasn't interested he said I was looking for problems he was just laid back.

I had booked tickets to come and see him as he works away currently. The night before he told me he would let me know whether we could meet as I wasn't feeling well. he never let me know so I ended it out of frustration.

That was about 2 weeks ago and he said while he still loves me he made a mistake thinking he could have a relationship. We spoke over Christmas and he was asking what my new years plans were and who I was with. I eventually got him to talk to me properly and he said he hasn't been fair on me and he feels really stressed with his job. He said he wanted me back because i'm perfect for him and he missed me. I said maybe we could meet up and talk. He agreed but again we have gone back to minimal contact.

I asked him if he still wanted to meet today and he said yeah but that as the extent of our conversation. I am so confused, if he's not interested why is he telling me what I want to hear?

OP posts:
BackInTheRoom · 05/01/2018 14:47

Google Limerence. Whoever falls first, falls out first.

Angelf1sh · 05/01/2018 15:02

He’s not interested. Let it go and move on.

BackInTheRoom · 05/01/2018 15:11

He's being nice to you because he knows you're more in to him than he is in to you and he's letting you down gently. Sorry OP, try and move on, it sucks and it ain't fair. 💐

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 05/01/2018 15:13

I am so confused, if he's not interested why is he telling me what I want to hear?
Keeping his options open perhaps?

MaureenNervosa · 05/01/2018 15:18

You’re doing all the running, OP.

You asked him what was wrong, you booked tickets to see him, you got him to talk to you, you’ve asked him to meet up with you.

I think he is trying to let you down gently. Sorry.

VitriolicMuse · 05/01/2018 15:19

"I had booked tickets to come and see him as he works away currently. The night before he told me he would let me know whether we could meet as I wasn't feeling well. he never let me know so I ended it out of frustration"

If he truly loved you he would never had done this to you. I couldn't imagine doing this to anyone. You deserve much better than this.

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