Feeling really vulnerable and frightened and could really do with some support.
In a nutshell moved about 4hrz from home 2 yrs ago for dh job. He then got made redundant and has not worked since. I'd been pt prior to this but could only get a ft position here. One dc. Primary age.
Back story - left him about 4yrs ago as horribly EA. stupidly went back after 3 mo and genuinely thought he'd changed. I know. It's my fault now I'm in this mess for being so stupid.
Anyway last 6 mo EA really ramped up again. Criticising my parenting in front of dc, talking to Je like I'm a child, sulking, blanking me, refusing my parents to visit. So much an acquaintance came to me and quietly said it's not ok how he treats you.
Today I found the courage to tell him I'm not happy being the only earner. That I want to be pt. that I'm missing out on primary years. I said he needs a job. He said he'll never work for anyone else - wants to set up his own business. I pointed out that he's had nearly 2 years to do this and hasn't so far. Apparently not been inspired so far.
I said we should move back home - more job opportunities etc for him and my old job would def take me back.
He said he will not move. He's happy here.
We agreed our relationship is broken. I said I can't get past that he said previously I'm too fat and that although he doesn't say it now I know he still thinks it - didn't deny. Plus how he speaks to me is wrong.
So we said we'd separate which I want to do but not down here. I'm trapped away from my family, friends, lovely job. But can't move back without dc.
Plus he's turn bedn reslly nice all night to me. And last time I left I had to literally walk out with him begging me not to. Despite leading up to it saying he wanted to divorce.
I'm so frightened, feel sick. Don't know what to do next. Feel trapped and lonely.
Plus I can't help thinking I am a bad parent. Dc is so much better behaved for him. Probably through fear. But then the last couple of weeks they've been thick as thieves and I've felt like the outsider.