My son was hit by a van today

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

I am struggling a bit with processing it all. Ds is 13 and walks to school. It takes 30mins and there are a few busy roads to cross. He is very road aware and uses crossings etc. But it was still pretty dark and his uniform is dark.

He used a crossing the lights changed and he stepped out into the road but a van went through the red light and hit ds. Sending him flying and he hit the opposite side of the road. There were witnesses and the driver stopped. A woman passing was a health care professional and she looked after ds and called me. He was treated by paramedics and taken to hospital by ambulance.

He is ok and home now. His head hurts he is in shock I think but he is very lucky not to be more seriously injured. I just cannot get my head around it all.
He could have been killed.

How do I ever let him or his younger siblings out ever again? How will ds feel about this in the morning? when he goes back to school how will I let him walk away?

Your poor DS and poor you. What a shock. Is he going to have the day off tomorrow?

Glad to hear he hasn't got serious injuries but it must have been scary for you all. It's probably easy to say but I think you should try and retain as much normality as you can even if your catastrophising anxiety is in overdrive.

Goodness how scary 😱

Maybe you could get some hi vis stuff for his coat so he’s more visible.

Has the driver been arrested?

I guess the only way to deal with it is to get out there again and to take extra care at crossings of course, but of course I understand where you’re coming from.

I'm so sorry this happened to him. How terrifying for you all

God how awful. You really will be in shock. Look after yourselves and give yourself a good few days to process it before you start trying to answer your questions. Terrifying

Gosh how terrifying. I have a ds who is 13 and the thought of this happening to him frightens the life out of me.

I think you have to use it as a learning experience though - teach not to cross until cars have actually stopped at the lights. Say that not all drivers are sensible and safe and so they need to make sure they are cautious. It'll then pass through all their friends they walk with and hopefully the message will filter further.

Is the driver being charged?

Shit how awful. I think it would be natural to be over protective for a little while but then slowly let go again. I am so so pleased there's no lasting damage.
Other parents seem to go on to their kids about stranger danger. The roads fill me with fear more than that. But on the whole they are safe-im sure it doesn't feel that way!

That's so scary op. When I was younger my sister was jumped by five girls and my parents were the same with us. It's quite natural, eventually things will get better
Hope your son is okay, lots of cuddles and ice cream.

Every parents worse nightmare, he’s ok, hug him a bit tighter tonight. He didn’t do anything wrong, used the crossing, it was the driver who made a mistake, but it could have been so much worse. Has your DS got reflective clothing or reflective material on his backpack/school bag? It may help him be seen on dark mornings.

Jesus - how awful! I hope the driver has been arrested?

Would one of those hi vis waistcoat tabard things be reassuring for you and him, do you think?

I know locally the kids coats are part of their uniform so there's no choice to get a bright colour etc. A tabard thing can be stuffed in his bag/pocket at school when he needs to be in uniform. Lots of dog walkers near me wear them when out and about.

Similar happened to my DD (although a true no fault accident) fortunately car was doing 25 mph, she doesn't remember hitting and breaking the windscreen.

I had moments of floods of tears every now and then for several weeks, she won't walk that way to school, she's frightened to cross certain roads.

Time helps

The irony was we were talking to ds about being extra careful crossing the roads this morning, because how dark it was and his clothing. We are ordering new bright orange back pack as his was cut off him by the paramedics along with his coat and most of his uniform.

I am trying to be normal, but I am worried that he is more injured than it appears, that his anxiety is going to be an issue. He is autistic and highly strung. I can't quite believe that he is as ok physically as it appears. The driver is going to be charged, reckless driving or something.

I hope he is ok, and you are. I second the high viz stuff. Where I live they are replacing the street lights with these eco bulbs, so you cannot see people walking, I have bought reflective everything to wear walking. I also agree with waiting for cars to stop before trying to cross at lights/zebra crossing. At least twice a week I have had cars not stopped.

Sorry to hear, OP. My DS is 13 and I could cry at the thought! So glad the HCP was there to help and comfort him. Hope you both get a good nights sleep

Gosh, how awful and I can completely understand how worried you all must be. I'm also glad to read that the driver is bdinv charged.
When I was knocked over, at the same age but under different circumstances and totally my own fault, I had one day off so that they could keep an eye on me but then I was encouraged to return to normality and keep my usual routine, crossing the same road at the same spot at the same time. I was obviously more alert, more aware and more careful but I think the normality helped me get over it. My mum must've been worried and anxious as I left for school the following morning but she didn't show it.
I think your dc's confidence will have to come from you - let your ds talk about his worries if he needs to and verbally walk through using the crossing but try not to pass your fears and anxiety onto him if that makes sense.
I'm glad that there doesn't appear to be any major physical damage and I hope you all recover from the shock as quickly as possible

How frightening for both of you. I can see how that would undermine your confidence. Definitely hi viz clothing and I'm sure awareness will be heightened all round

What a horrendous thing to have happened. I'm so glad your ds is safe and well. In terms of your concerns going forward I would say that your son will now be a safer pedestrian for the experience. He has learned lots of lessons and it is extremely unlikely to happen again. I think you need to frame it positively for him - he was doing the right thing, by some miracle he was unhurt, he has got one hell of a story for his friends, this relatively painless experience may have prevented a more serious future accident.

do hope DS is OK. Feel for you all [unmumsnettyhugs]

What a horrible thing to happen; I’m not surprised you're apprehensive about anyone in your family crossing the road ever again - which is obviously unrealistic. I think you should continue to reassure your son that he did everything right, and the driver was totally in the wrong.

What have the police said?

He drove through a red light and hit him - is the driver going to be prosecuted?

So much sympathy for you op, and your boy.

I was knocked down when I was little (although not at a crossing point, it was 50/50 my fault) and can say without a shadow of a doubt getting back into my normal routine ASAP helped a lot. I had to have a few days off school, actually because of an allergic reaction to painkillers, and the thought of going back down the road grew and grew in my head. The first morning back everything was exactly as normal (although DM admitted years later that she'd followed me down the road) - there was no option not to do the usual walk and it was fine. Big hugs to you all tho, what a shock.

Oh goodness! What a shock!

I’m so glad that he is not more seriously hurt!!

Give it a bit of time. It only happened today.

Thank you for support.

I am feeling more myself today - and ds is amazing. Back to playing minecraft. I think he is made of springs or something! I am still going to have trouble sleeping for a while as i get a full colour movie reconstruction of what I imagine happened - but I think it will be a matter of getting back to normal as other posts have said as anything else is not constructive.

We had to kick off - politely - with ds school as we had not heard anything from them. Not a call or a text or an email. I called them twice yesterday to let them know what was going on - why he wasn't coming in! No calls from them is a bit rubbish. But we will have a meeting on his return - I am sure it is just cause they are a big busy school - but I just want to make sure ds is looked out for on his return. No PE for a week or so - that sort of thing. He is having neck pain and is meant to be taking it easy for a while.

I was getting unsolicited calls and emails from ds old school to ask how he was - the head rang me - so nothing from his current school was a bit disturbing.

Well the school have come up trumps with a hand delivered card signed by classmates. This is much appreciated. Ds is still subdued and has tender head and stiff achey neck. It will probably bother him for a while but I can live with that as he is home and safe.