I don't know what to do

[yellowandgreybird]

So unhappy.

Dh is so hard to live with. Undermines me constantly. Tells the children not to listen to me, tells me I am too soft and spoil the children. Constantly exhausted as he has us up and running round from 6 in the morning to gone midnight, kids don't get enough sleep.

He also calls me names and is sexually abusive.

Leaving is just an awful thought though the main thing I worry about is him having his family and so much and then contracted to just me, I can't bear it.

As well as abusing you he is treating his children appallingly as well.
Is this what you want them to learn about relationships, that this is how men do treat women?. Would you want this type of relationship for them as adults, hell no you would reply.

What are you really afraid of here?.

Why would leaving him be so bad for you and in turn your children?. Leaving someone is not easy but no obstacle is insurmountable and you deserve a life free of and from his abuses of you.

Better to be on your own with your children than to be so badly accompanied. I can well imagine his family of origin are no better than he either, the rotten apple that is your H did not fall far from the rotten tree.

Please contact Womens Aid on 0808 2000 247 particularly if you are UK based.

I'm not sure what the process would be, but I would start to gather professional advice about where you stand in leaving / making him leave. He's abusive, so doesn't have a leg to stand on. Hopefully someone can come by and help you in more detail.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Just remember that whatever your own personal failings or imperfections, you don't deserve this. Nobody is perfect, whether as a parent, partner or anything else. As your husband he should be the one building you up not knocking you down, and certainly never ever abusing you. Be strong, you can do this.

What do you mean he has the kids up and running around from 6am till midnight?

He just wants us all doing family things all of the time, and it's not good for their routines.

I have no family, he has, and I feel they would support him. Financially but also emotionally.