Long distance relationships - when to move in together?

[Polarbearflavour]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 months. It’s going really well, we spent Christmas with each other’s families, we both feel that we are heading in the right direction and want marriage and a child within the next couple of years. Both in our early thirties.

Long distance - he’s a military officer, lives around two hours away on base. We see each almost every weekend from Friday evening to Sunday evening or early Monday morning.

I feel like I need to spend more time with him so I’m applying for internal jobs with my current huge organisation where he lives. We both agree being able to stay over in the weekdays and not having the travel on a weekend would be amazing.

He is happy to move in together this time next year and says we can manage happily doing our weekends, talking on the phone most days and having holidays together.

Whereas I would love to move in together after a year together and as soon as I get a job I can buy a house there (soooo much cheaper there) and move. I’m not happy at all with my current job or the city I live in now (flat share with a good friend but I need my own space!)

Any thoughts? Am I rushing info this? A couple of people have cautioned me that it might not work but even if it doesn’t I’ll have my own place and a new job.

I don’t think I can carry on doing weekends only for x amount of months I’m basically wishing my week away to get to Friday and living this strange half life!

You'll most likely get mixed views on this as some people would have moved in with their partners and things didn't work out and some moved in with their partners and it all worked out. But as you have decided that travelling during the weekends is becoming a pain then yes, you should definitely move in together.

You won't know if it will work out unless you try.

If you don't have dc, then yeah, why not?.

What happens if he gets transferred to another base tho?

My husband moved in as soon as he could get a job nearer. Took about 9 months.

My husband and I got together in October and by April we were living together. 7 and a half years later here we are very happy and TTC. It'll make or break the relationship. If it's what you both want why not xx

He will be at this base for at least two years and then will most likely be able to negotiate his next posting in the area. Even if he moves outside the area for as posting, as long as we are living together even if he is away Mondays - Fridays, I would feel much better as it would be our home. Rather than me living with a flat mate and him living on he base.

I really just need an internal move with work but not much around at the moment and external jobs in that area don’t seem to pay quite as well. But if we are living together he said it would be cheaper anyway.

It’s hard at the moment not knowing when it will be! I lived with my ex boyfriend for several years and I miss having that settled lifestyle, waking up next to each other every day, cooking together etc