I think this should be the end for this friendship. Am I wrong?

[loveka]

4 of us have been friends for over 30 years.

Friend A is single, the rest of us in relationships. She has always said things like "well, at least you're married" and "you wouldn't have a car/house/holiday if you weren't married".

She has a reputation for ' losing it' over percieved sleights. This means you kind of walk on eggshells around her. Also, have to listen to her go on and on about these sleights from other people.

I started to cool off from her about 8 years ago when she became friends on facebook with my ex. He had hurt me very badly and , looking back, was verging on abusive toards me

Sorry!

Anyway, I said I felt uncomfortable with her being friends with him. I just didn't want him in my life in any respect. She flew off the handle and said she would be friends with him, it was none of my business and what if she married him? This all felt a bit playground to me.

Over the years I have supported her, looked after her, basically been there for her at all times. I once cancelled a holiday because she was suicidal. Any problem I have had hss been dismissed as "you are married".

Friend B has had the same experience as me, but has stuck by her and sees her quite a lot.

Friend B had an awful year last year, very bad health problems which thankfully she is through now. She threw a big dinner for the friends and partners.

Friend A ruined it. She arrived drunk, got drunker and argumentative. Stated talking about my ex. Then threw up everywhere and had to be looked after.

Friend B wanted this New Year to be a celebration of getting through a terrible time- though she didn't actually say that.

I really never want to see friend A again. Writing it down it seems obvious. But we were all so close once, it seems a shame that things have come to this point.

With friends like that, who needs enemies.

Cliche but true.

She is al albatross around your neck. Let her go and you will be so much lighter.

Either cut her off (block and delete) or tell her that the friendship is no longer making you happy. Whatever you do, go into 2018 without her drama and nastiness.

No, you are not wrong.

She is deliberately trying to hurt you every time she mentions your ex, especially after you asked her to not mention him. That would have been the tipping point for me.

The comment that you wouldn’t have xyz if you weren’t married sounds like jealousy. She cannnot simply be happy for you and disqualifies you with her dismissiveness.

Spoiling others’ events indicates she is not capable of being happy for anyone.

Stepping away due to her mean behavior is a justifiable boundary for anyone.

SHE sounds a very unhappy woman. She’s being spiteful & alienating people like you who IS ON HER side! Silly, silly women. She’s not your problem, I’d cut her out.

She sounds very unhappy.

I'd just not initiate anything with her. If your other friends are willing to stick with her she won't be completely out of your life.

I'd have a one to one with her telling her exactly how you feel - ask her to promise to listen without interrupting you and say it's your friendship on the line. If she goes all high drama then back off immediately but hopefully she'll apologise and you can help her help herself. If she won't take responsibility for her behaviour then I'd really cool the friendship.

It's sad but people grow up and change .I split from an old friend who was I had always known was selfish (when we went out it was always were he wanted)got increasingly jealous when I started making a few bob.Do I miss him ? A bit Was it the right decision to cut ties ?Yes ,definitely

Yes, she is very unhappy. I feel sad for her in a way, but I have spent so long trying to help her and she does nothing to help herself.

She is bitter and that impacts how she sees other people.