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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Someone I used to be friends with tried to kill herself -i feel guilty.

6 replies

wishesandkisses · 02/01/2018 20:58

She took an overdose on new years day and is currently in hospital. I come from a tightknit friend group. Our relationship has always been very best friends/worst enemies. We fell out this time as I felt she used me for money/lifts/babysitting and if she had nobody else. But I guess it's because she wasn't right in herself. There has been times when she's fine and a wonderful friend and she tends to shun people when she's feeling low I've never noticed before. She's always said she wished she didn't have her son and I judged her for that, I tried to help the best I could but she was more interested in boys and partying but surely that's a sign there's something wrong. I'm sure I've hurt her too but genuinely I don't know how. We have bitched about each other between friends and I think that has made things worse. I want to tell her I'm so sorry she's feeling so low and that no matter what's happened between us I'll always love her and care for her and be there for her. But I think I've let her down and I think she will too. Sorry this has been a ramble more than anything but I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 02/01/2018 21:00

Please do tell her that, even if she rejects it, it will mean the world to her. Flowers

offside · 02/01/2018 21:02

I agree you should tell her that, she probably needs to hear things like that right about now.

And please don’t feel guilty x

rightyouarethen · 02/01/2018 21:03

Then tell her. You have nothing to lose, and it might be just what she needs to hear. Now you know, you can really make a difference to her life.

GingerbreadMa · 02/01/2018 21:09

I want to tell her I'm so sorry she's feeling so low and that no matter what's happened between us I'll always love her and care for her and be there for her

Will you though? Or would that just be hot air. How many more times are you really willing to be ditched until a favour is needed?

What Im trying to say is dont promise lifelong friendship if its not something thats realistically on the cards.

You can contact her and wish her well and send her love..but promising to always be there for her doesnt sound realistic given the dynamics

Gemini69 · 02/01/2018 21:12

OP you cannot take on the responsibility of someone else's decision to attempt suicide... if you go down this path you will end up on a dark road yourself... there could be many reasons why your friend chose to take this course of action...

what appears to you as being part of the cause.. may well have been the last pebblel in a long path of self destruct..

by all means be a friend and support her in this difficult time.. but please do not carry Guilt.. the definition of Guilt is an awareness of having done something wrong... You did not do something wrong OP.. you responded to the way you felt you were being treated... so please do not feel Guilt....

Support your friend with kindness... not Guilt Flowers

ptumbi · 02/01/2018 21:23

Tell her you feel for her, will support her (IF she wants it) and will not judge...
But dont feel guilty. That would be making this about you - and it's not about you!

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