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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When love feels empty and not enough

7 replies

tonyasummers52 · 01/01/2018 21:18

I have been in a committed relationship with white man since Sept of 2016. I am a black female. In the beginning of the relationship, it was good like how everything is at the beginning stages. Felt new and exciting. We have never had sex but flirted very close. Since December 2016 nothing. And nothing means no flirty activity for over a year and we are in the 30s. I have tried everything, reading to understand, GNC testosterone, no expectations, date nights, new hair clothes, working out to make myself feel more confident, talking, writing letters to communicate without mean tones or miscommunication. When he will open up enough to talk, I am told he will try and he will change. He then proceeds without one inch of trying. I understand, Rome wasn't built in a day but I do want to build a family (he has said he does too) and even though I am told every day I am loved there is NO intimacy. Only sports all day and work. I feel so hurt and alone. I have cried to him and I feel like a fool. Am I? Does someone really love when there is no cuddling, there is pop kissing but that's it. Nothing for birthday, Valentines day and nothing again for New Years. He will sometimes state lets have a romantic evening out but it never happens, whether its work, sports or finances. I ask if there is someone else and I am advised he loves only me. I did look on his pc one evening and saw that he looks for nude blondes online and likes to watch strippers. His last woman was a dancer even though he claims he found out after they were together. Is this worth working on? I am a black female and this man seems to be attracted to something else. I have told him that maybe he wanted to try dating outside his race but its not what he really wants. How can it be? How can a man never want a woman they say they love? How can you build a family ? Its a New Year and I am tired of feeling hurt and ugly. I am tired of going out and not holding his attention, only to come home to coldness. He is a very nice person, learns waitress names. Almost annoying that he goes above and beyond to be so nice to people and doesn't take the time to see a treasure. Just need outside advice, I want a family . I am willing to work on the relationship and myself.

OP posts:
RelapsedChocoholic · 01/01/2018 21:27

Is there a reason for the no sex eg religion?
If not, sorry but this doesn’t sound like a relationship- to not even exchange birthday gifts means this isn’t even a friendship
Why are you with him?

RelapsedChocoholic · 01/01/2018 21:28

Sorry that sounds need a bit mean - I mean what are you with him as in do you love him and feel loved?

LaLaLanded · 01/01/2018 21:37

No, would be my answer to this man. NO.

Why are you with someone who makes you feel like this? In particular someone whose behaviour and influence makes you to reference the fact you’re black more than once in one post?

Fuck that - you feel insecure and he’s not helping, or even being normal in terms of his behaviours. No sex, blonde girl porn? I’m black and if I had this situation I would bin - don’t know if this man is white or not but either way, this isn’t fair on you. Never feel inferior or like you’re not enough.

You are nobodies second option, nobody gets to use you. Get. Rid.

Newrules · 01/01/2018 21:40

I wouldn’t even call this a relationship sorry.

tonyasummers52 · 01/01/2018 21:43

He took me for dinner on birthday, Valentine's day etc but nothing romantic. Not even a back massage

OP posts:
tonyasummers52 · 01/01/2018 21:45

He is a nice person. He will open doors and pull out chairs. I love him but the relationship going like this for so long makes me feel alone in it and like he is just saying he loves me

OP posts:
annielouise · 01/01/2018 21:46

He's clearly dysfunctional for whatever reason and you're not. It's like flogging a dead horse as how will he change. If there was no sex at the beginning it doesn't bode well for this changing. I think you need to move on and find someone that doesn't have these problems, whatever these problems are. Too complicated.

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