1 month

[Amaz24]

So I have posted on here about my husband having an affair. I found out 1 month ago. We have been together 15 years, married 7 and have a 6yo. We bought our first house 1 1/2 years ago. His affair started not long after. It was someone from work. They are not together, it was just sex I'm told!!!! I kicked him out and we have separated.
I know it's early days but I can't stop crying and feeling sick. Only managing 1 meal a day. My 6yo makes me strong as I have to be!
When does it start to feel better????

Anyone going through a similar thing? I need support 😪💔

It's very very early days OP. You've had a terrible shock and are going through a bereavement for the life you thought you had, and thought you would have.

I have been in a similar situation and it took a long time before I felt as though I was on the road to recovering from what had happened.

You will be up and down a lot, you will enjoy your DD and smile at the things she does, but then cry as you no longer have your H to share them with.

Do you have family and friends that you can lean on?

Well done on managing one meal a day, that's really positive.

It might be a month, but one of the most difficult months of the year.

Be kind to yourself, keep strong.

It starts to feel better a little each day, however you have to help yourself by focusing your thoughts towards positive ones, gradually your heart will follow. I.e. you are enough on your own, you are better single than with someone who treated you this way. You have your DC who loves you very much.

You'll be OK promise. So many have been here and come out the other side thriving!

Thank you so much. I have friends here so making an effort seeing them more. I have no family here they are 200 miles away. My family here was the OH who are being very supportive at the min but don't know how long that would last when he loves one etc? I did go home between heist as and new year and was so nice seeing family. Got away from it all and felt so much better than being in the family home. I have taken the pictures down and am planning. To put new ones up of me a little One.
OH still has clothes etc here as no where to put them!!!
Whenever he sees little one or talks on the phone to him he then talks to me and it's like he's trying to be normal and says I love you! I don't say t back now. Why does he do that???

He does that to keep you sweet and so he doesn't look like the bad guy he is. Do you want him back? Does he want to come back? Cos a few 'normal' phone calls and a few i love yous aren't really the actions of a man desperation to come home.

Be proactive. Pack up his clothes. Get your finances in order. Where is he staying? And why isn't there room for his clothes? Doesn't look like he's made any long term accommodation plans.

Don't think he wants to come home and I don't want him home either!

He's in a friends room at the min and no space for all his stuff apparently.
No long term plans! He has just rang and spoke to Our son and then me and got onto the conversation of how he is fucked with money etc. The house and our 15 years got mentioned by him. I said I know nothing till I speak to a mortgage advisor. He said why should he just roll over and he’s entitled to more than I think. I explained well that’s when a lawyer gets involved!!! Soooo mad. Wanker!!!!!

Shit hot lawyer time. And i think you'll find it's YOU that is entitled to more than he thinks! (Evil cackling!)

Thanks things do get better! Love the evil cackling! I've not stopped crying since I've spoke to him! Can't believe love can go to this so quick! It hursts coz I love him as obviously that just doesn't stop!

OP, think of it this way. You love the man you thought he was. Not the man he is now. Someone willing to risk his wife's happiness for an affair that was "just sex"

Omg Ryder63 so true. Thanks for that!!!!!!

It gets easier amaz. Slowly you start to get yourself back and emerge from the grief. Im 10 weeks I’m and it’s still really really hard. But not like those early days when I could barely function.

Thanks queen. It's hard to see how it gets easier at the minute when everything is so painful xx

It does honestly. It’s still fucking painful, I won’t lie,but you become capable of forever my other things and not thinking of the affair 24/7. You can even go a day without crying.
Just look after yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel right now.

A day without crying and the constant sick feeling would be good. I do t know where I'd be if I didn't have the little one for routine etc!

Going to book in with solicitor and see where I stand with getting the house in my name and him I do the mortgage. Also see mortgage advisors as due to remortgage in a few months and see if I can get the mortgage on just my wage.
Don't know what I'll do if I can't!

It's crap and as others have said - very early days.
I'll be totally honest, it was about a year before I started to feel like me again.
A good 3 months before there was the odd day of no crying.
It's truly horrendous but it does get better.
Time is all you can give yourself.
1 meal is good at this stage so well done.
Just keep leaning on friends to help you through.
I'd never have got through it all without my friends and family.
Do you want to stay where you are now?
Would you consider moving back closer to family?

I would like to stay where I am really. My family live 200 miles away and I have a good friend. Where I am now I've been here for years since university, it's my home. I do t have family apart from the OH but have a lot more friends for support. It's all so confusing at the min!😪💔