random rambling.. case of the ex

[1sttime4everything]

OK so this is random.. I'm about a week away from due date and I'm actually feeling fine in all respects.

The only thing is.. I keep thinking and dreaming about my ex. We were together 9yrs (from age 18-27) and ended the relationship when I moved country in 2015 (he had his own business and widowed mother back home and chose to stay). We haven't spoken since.

He has been engaged for 2+yrs and I'm having my first child with another man.. so yes we've both moved on but it just feels WEIRD

I guess I always thought I'd be having kids with him and maybe the not speaking means no proper closure or something.. and being so close to having little one and it being a new year 'old acquaintance be forgot' is throwing up all kinds of emotions.

Of course I haven't talked about this to current boyfriend and to be honest I couldn't mention it to my family or friends even as I wouldn't like to admit that I still think about my ex. So I just wanted to get it out there really. That's it!

Thanks to anybody who reads or replies.. don't really know what I'm expecting anyone to say 😂 Happy 2018 everybody hope it's a great year for you 🎉🎉🎉

I'd agree with you, it's just because it's such a milestone, naturally you're going to think about how it might have been. I'm in love with my partner and in certain situations I think about my Ex, and thank God I'm not having that particular experience with him (how he would have ruined it etc) I wish I didn't, as I have no need to think of him but if you aren't wishing you were having your ex-partnets baby, I wouldn't worry too much.

Aw thanks for the reassurance.. glad I'm not the only one thinking about tge ex! Im definately happy that it's this boyfriend and not the last I just think my subconscious is a bit confused! We are also having a boy and my dream last night the baby was a girl and with my ex so I do think it's just my mind exploring possibilities 😁 thanks again LemonSqueezy0 sending good karma points to you