What do you do when your dp....

[tammybear]

Tells you someone he works with likes him.

How do you react/respond to that?

Presumably he means a female someone. Well, I'd be glad that he wasn't disliked and secure in the knowledge that he'd told me. If you're asking what would you say, how about "That's nice dear".

I would have to ask what she was like, did he work with her closely, why was he telling you, should you be worried????? I would die of curiosity and dress myself up, be child free for a day and take him out for lunch making sure I went to the office first to see what she looked like.

Thats just me though.....paranoid and nosey!!

What did you say?

yes female. hes at work at the moment, and txt me saying this girl who started a couple of weeks ago has changed her breaks so she can spend time with him, and then he told her bout me and she stormed off in a huff. i havent said anything cos i dunno wat to say. then he'll think im being funny with him because i havent said anything

I'd say he was trying to provoke a reaction from you for whatever reason, and wouldn't react at all.

Tammybear I think you have done the best, I have always thoought that if you make a big fuss out of this the other person becomes more important than waht she really is (now is no longer the girl that fancy him but the girl who fancy him and make his wife so jealous, giving room for further interpreations of why you may feel jealus which may undermine you or exalt the other). If you don't show to care the DH soon forgets about the topic.

DH and I talk about these things and joke a lot about them, now if the "other" is a potential significant rival, I change the topic but NEVER show him I am concerned.

Lou's right, he's expecting some sort of reaction. Personally, I'd have texted him back saying "you must mean that new blind girl" - nothing against blind people, but YKWIM

id say "has she got money? cos if you leave me with these feckin kids on mi own matey...and takin all of yours"

really i would actually say that

lol custardo

Lol @ some of the posts. Well I never txt back with anything, and about an hour later after he told me, he txt me saying "i love you by the way". think he must of thought he had annoyed me as i hadnt txt back. i didnt really speak to him for the rest of the day, and then when i was on the phone in the evening, he asked me if i was okay and i told him id speak to him in a minute as i was talking on the phone, then he went off in a huff saying i could have just said yes. havent spoken to him since. knew hed find something to get in a mood with me

my dp previous to me meeting him had an affair with a married work colleague and a fling with another girl in another office, he now works in the office with both of them!
The married lady had her first baby with her hubby 11 mths after my dp broke the fling off, he started seeing me about 4 mths later.
I was shocked at him, he went to their wedding.
I have met her lots and she is nice, I trust him implicitly absolutely liek I never thought I could ever trust any man.
But if he came back now and said it, I would ignore it.

I think i'd say something like " goodness how exciting.I wonder if she would still fancy you when you smell of baby sick??Tell her you will go out with her but your wife says you have to take the kids with you!!"

ask her if she needs work as babysitter, so u can go out with ouyr sexy hubby. hehe. that should stop it.

R U Sure he's not lying, trying to gode you or anything like that, have you actually seen the txt message, I would look on his mobile, check out the message, keep the mobile number that sent the message and then every week say, go through his caller list and check that a) she hasn't been added or b) if any other messages have been sent, if not, they no worries, but if the answer is yes, then I'm afraid I would agree with alot of people on this list.

LOL @ misdee... Tammy - i would find out why he is telling you about this... is he also interested in her? Does it make him uncomfortable? Does he just want to make you jealous? Does he want to tell you before you hear the rumours? Dunno - I guess I am just suspicious!

i agree with Lou33 - he just wants a reaction - just think toddler training - if u ignore the behaviour, he has no incentive to continue mentioning this to u. I was in a slightly similar position - but my dh defo had a crush on a girl in his office, and my male friend's advice was not to keep mentioning it/questioning him, as the attention he was getting was giving him an incentive to mention her.

well all i know is he found out yesterday. i dont know who told him or what. ive been thinking about it and the reasons why he told me that i can come up with are:

a) hes boasting as hes very insecure so the fact that someone likes him has probably given him an ego boost (as it does all men. and women i suppose)

b) flattered that she went to all that trouble to be with him and probably trying to subtlely point out that i dont make as much effort for him (we had an arguement and he brought that up last week)

c) trying to make me jealous although years ago i told him about a guy who liked me just because i couldnt believe and was flattered and he went into an outrage of jealously

d) he did try to leave me last week, and so maybe he's trying to point out that he doesnt need me, and that if he had left me, he could be with her

e) im just going way over the top and looking too deeply into things

he does have a lot of female friends, more than men really. it doesnt usually worry me. although a while ago, there were arguements over this girl he knows.

oh and im not going to bring it up and talk to him about it. i wanted to avoid talking to him last night as i knew he'd bring it up

Tammy - just a quick question... Is she texting him? and if she is how did she get his phone number?

i dont know, ive noticed dp always clears his call registers (missed, received, dialled) and only keeps txts from me. dont think much of it, til now. but if she does have his number, it would be because he would give it to her.

Why on earth would he clear his calls registered? How old is your baby? Do you work?

im trying to find work at the moment. dd is 19 months (she isnt dp's btw)

I dont think its anything to worry about. I do trust him. Just dont trust her now lol

Maybe you should flatter him by saying something like "tell her hands off - you´re mine!" and smile about it. That should make him feel wanted by you... and maybe thats all he needs... to feel a little special. If your dd is not his, he can sometimes feel a bit of an outsider - and that is from first hand experience that i tell you that! Just make him feel good, and I am sure it will all blow over and everyone will be happy... I honestly hope so

i think you're right, i think he's just attention seeking, as he's ignoring me and sulking. i hate it when he's like this. i just cant be bothered with it, as ive got dd attention seeking enough as it is

Best thing I could suggest (it´s what I do) is that when he gets home from work, kiss him hello like normal and carry on as if that conversation never happened.. Hi honey, how was your day... etc... Men can be so annoying! good luck