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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Postnatal depression?

7 replies

Lulu16 · 01/01/2018 00:50

I just want to ask people if this sounds like something I should really be upset about or if I am actually a 'psycho' like my husband says.
A couple of weeks ago my husband went on his Christmas works party came home drunk and started implying that he'd had an affair. He said 'that it was all over now that he loved me and hed been stupid'. Obviously i questioned him and he said 'lets talk in the morning i dont want to fight because the baby is in bed'. So at this point I was angry and begged him to tell me what he meant and he said its 'because you've had a baby but your body's okay I suppose'.
So I took this as him saying he'd been with someone else.
In the morning he said he couldn't remember and that he was probably just trying to wind me up.
Ive tried to forgive and forget but I checked his phone and he'd made fun of me on his works party chat for getting upset.
Then tonight we went out and he was behaving like a perve and I felt humiliated because hes never acted like that before. When back home I told him how I felt and he was very aggressive saying thats who he is and how he talks. That i need to get a sense of humour and stop being a psycho.
Ive had post natal depression before and I'm questioning myself about whether I am being crazy or is it right that i feel so upset?

OP posts:
Lostmyemailaddress · 01/01/2018 00:53

No your not being crazy and I'd be fuming amd upset if I had a partner who did any of that to me. He's telling you your crazy as he wants you to think that his behaviour is normal and ok.

marciagetscreamed · 01/01/2018 12:45

He's an arsehole. You are not a psycho. Thanks

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 01/01/2018 13:36

You're not a psycho. He is a dick

user1493413286 · 01/01/2018 14:00

There’s nothing wrong with you; have you talked to him about it today?

Lulu16 · 01/01/2018 16:12

Thank you for replying. I was thinking it was me maybe needing to go drs for antidepressants. When I got up this morning he kept saying he hasn't done anything wrong and that he'd phone who we were with at the party so they could tell me its me being paranoid. Well Im already embarrassed enough so I dont want to show myself up talking about it with them.
He's only carrying on like this when he's been drinking but when I try to talk to him any other time he just says sorry without listening to me or tells me to f off.

OP posts:
suchislife44 · 01/01/2018 16:38

From what you have shared, he sounds emotionally abusive. It is not you.

Lostmyemailaddress · 01/01/2018 17:09

He was bluffing when he said about ringing people at the party. He had no intentions of doing it, he only said it to make you feel worse. I'd bet anything if you were to say yes let's ring and ask shall we he'd back down quicker then you can say boo.
This is how he controls you, he says things then when you question him he makes out that it's either in your head, he didn't say it or it's a joke. He wants you to feel embarrassed so you only question yourself not him and he does it so you won't question anything he does.
I don't throw comments around lightly but he is emotional and mentally abusive and you deserve so much better. Your not a psycho your a human being who deserves to be loved and respected. I hope one day you will realise this for yourself Flowers

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