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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need advice

2 replies

BibbleBabble777 · 31/12/2017 21:01

Does anyone else have a Jeckyll & Hyde partner?

If you'd been with us this evening you'd think my DH was the life & soul - and an attentive partner to boot.

But that's not what I see at home.

He is really moody and does exactly what he wants.

Recently I had to leave him at a party (not late - 4.30pm) with youngest DC as I was taking the oldest to a show. Asked him to watch his drinking.... They eventually got home at 10. He was paralytic - couldn't stand up, someone else had put them in a cab. Both DCs were really upset.

Oldest in particular says she's scared to be left with him as she doesn't know if he's going to get mad at her. I try to reassure her - but she's right. It's shouting, not violence, but it is horrible.

And it's not just me. I emailed a counselling service, asking what to do, how to calm things down when he's like that. They told me he was controlling and emotionally abusive - and I should contact Women's Aid.

He won't accept there is anything wrong with his behaviour. He dismisses anything I say and ignored an email I wrote trying to set things out calmly.

I don't know if I can bear much more of his head-f&(£ery.

Sorry, this is a bit rambling. Suppose I was wondering if anyone else has anything like this and what they've done.

Thanks if you got here!

OP posts:
LoLaLo79 · 31/12/2017 22:22

Have you contacted Women's Aid? Start keeping a secret record of everything he says and does and plan your escape if things get worse. Do you have friends or family you can confide in / stay with? Your own income or savings? Even if you don't there is help out there.
Your children are at real risk with a very drunk partner. They are telling you they are scared. You can't go on like this.
Be brave - don't let fear paralyse you for your children's sakes or your own any longer. Life is too short. Good luck. Hope 2018 means a fresh start for you.

littletinyme1 · 31/12/2017 22:29

He will never believe you. He will never change. He will never admit he doea anything wrong. What do you think you will do?

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