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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fallen out with friend, would like opinions

13 replies

ilovejared · 24/04/2007 12:34

Last night was my birthday so me, my dp, my friend and her newish dp went out for a meal. With it being my birthday I didnt want to drive and everyone agreed on friends DP driving (including him). We have met him before but only when lots of other people were present, we've not spent much time with him.

Anyway they came to pick us up, we were all getting along great, we went for a drink at a nearby pub first (driver drank coke) and from there we went to the resteraunt.

Anyway the restraunt was quite a drive into the countryside and my friends partner started saying some really wierd stuff that freaked me out, it started with "have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be in a car crash?" and progressed to "just think, if I decided to commit suicide right now you lot would come with me..." and "your lives are in my hands, do you trust me?" etc! , my friend was laughing her head off at him so I thought maybe I was being paranoid. When we got to the restraunt DP pulled me aside and said we should get a taxi home so then I knew it wasnt just me.

So we had our meal, friends DP was acting relatively normal throughout causing me to believe that I over-reacted and about 10 minutes before we were due to leave he said "just think, you'll never know when you've just set off on your last ever journey...." ??? again friend burst out laughing, DP was getting a bit angry about it so I told my friend that we were getting a taxi home and that it was nothing personal.

She didnt like it and made it obvious then later in the night she sent me a text saying I'd spoilt the evening and that I shouldnt blame her or her DP if I had a crap birthday and I should get a grip!!

DP said to just ignore her, Im totally confused, did I over-react??

OP posts:
Kbear · 24/04/2007 12:35

Her DP sounds like a weirdo, who makes jokes like that, all night?

MamaG · 24/04/2007 12:36

They are weird comments to make, but that must be his sense of humour, which your mate obviously "gets"

I can be quite rude so would have told him to shut up!

Is it worth falling out with your mate? If not, just reply saying "lets not fall out over it" or similar

belgo · 24/04/2007 12:37

Stay away from her dp and her. They both sound wierd.

Mumpbump · 24/04/2007 12:37

I'd ignore it. If she says anything else, just say that unfortunately, you and your dh don't share her dp's sense of humour and didn't appreciate the driver making jokes about car crashes...

lulumama · 24/04/2007 12:40

how utterly weird and bizarre!

i would not have felt comfortable, would have also got a taxi home

is he the sort of idiot who would wrench the wheel around and swerve . 'for fun' ?

i wouldn't take a chance

she is horrible for saying you'd spoilt the evening and it was your blardy birthday!

if there is a next time you all go out together, make your own way!

Nbg · 24/04/2007 12:40

Give your friend time to chill and she'll come round.

There cant be anyone who dosnt see what her dp said as not weird.

Cashncarry · 24/04/2007 12:41

She's probably just in the throes of infatuation with him being the new boyfriend - I'd ignore it. If she says anything just say "Men, eh?" and roll your eyes!

He does sound very odd and hopefully she'll wake up to that fact once the romantic haze has been lifted from her eyes

littlelapin · 24/04/2007 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkChick · 24/04/2007 12:43

you dont know him, maybe he was saying stupid things cos her was nervous, but i would NOT get into a car with someone saying those kind of things!, happend to dp once, his friend was driving down steep cliff towards sea and asked what they would do if he didnt decide to tun and went straight over!..its stayed with dp forever!, if she wants to stick around with this nutter let her, it will be her own downfall, you did nothing wrong

thegardener · 25/04/2007 13:08

i would of got a taxi back too, i would also send a text to friend saying that you enjoyed your birthday but thought the comment her dp made was scarry and unappropriate. i don't think i would arrange to see them again.

i had a penfriend in Germany who commited suicide with her boyfriend, in a car, don't know whether they would of talked like this aswell?

madamez · 25/04/2007 14:39

Would have let one comment like that go but then I am used to people who think they are funny when their sense of humour is a bit of an acquired taste. Agree wtih other posters that a text back saying, men, eh, but let's not fall out over it, is probably your best option.

This isn't meant to be rude or slighting in the least but: are any of you Goths? Ex-goths, even?

ScottishThistle · 25/04/2007 14:44

I'm with littlelapin...Also speak to her about her dp's sense of humour & make it clear you don't find it in the least bit funny!

LaDiDaDi · 25/04/2007 20:05

ilovejared, how are you getting on with your dp? I remember you from your secretive/nosey thread. Have you met his friends and family yet?

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