Assuming there is no affair and your spouse doesn't walk out on you, when do you decide that enough is enough? My husband and I just don't seem to have the spark anymore. He doesn't demonstrate love for me, we havent had sex for a couple of years - i dont care about that but i know it isnt right - and i frequently fantasize about him not being around. Sometimes I think, if he died suddenly, or he had an affair and left me, I would devastated in some ways, but I would also be off the hook and free to get on with my life anew. I dont think i love him any more. I sort of love him as a friend but not sexually. And we have changed over the years and I no longer like some things about him, and doubtless he feels the same way about me.
But we have a marriage that, in many practical ways, works perfectly well. I don't think anyone who knows us would think we were divorce material. I think many couples divorce too quickly, and that marriages are meant to go through sticky times, but couples should work to overcome those difficulties. But then I find myself fantasizing again about being released from the struggles.
It is probably all pie in the sky anyway as, practically speaking, I wouldn't be able to support myself financially if we divorced. I hate myself for having to admit that.
So, when did you know it was time to get out? Or - and this is probably what I would rather hear - have you been through a patch like mine, and somehow worked your way through it?