Don't know what to do

[purplerainbow]

Hi, I'm new to this and just looking for a little advise as I don't really have anyone to talk to and feel kinda alone.

I'm a mom of two with another one on the way, I have been with my partner for 9 years.

Most of the time it's a fairly happy relationship, we've had our struggles like most couples over the years but in the last year we are in the best place financially and both have secure jobs and normal everyday life, my partner who I love dearly is kind, loving family man (lazy around the house but that's most men) he doesn't go out drinking and partying and spends most of his time at home, my issue is over the years (starting when I was pregnant with my first child 7 yrs ago) messaging other women online, asking for pictures,general chatting but mostly in a sexual manner... each time he swears he will never do it again but he always does I've caught him at it atleast 9 times so far and each time it crushes me more and more I find it so hard to trust him every time he's on his phone I'm wondering what he's doing, back in June it happened again with someone I know this time (as far as I know it was just messages nothing more) but each time he says things lovely things that he should only be saying to me... anyway so it all blew up and I wanted to end it... we had a family holiday booked and for the kids sake we decided to go, we had a big heart to heart and with all the promises under the sun we decided to give it one last go, few months later unexpectedly I fell pregnant, we were over the moon as things were good and everything's been going well... I'm rambling (sorry) il wrap it up, last few days I spotted an old chat app on his phone which he never had before, and last night got the better of me and when he left his phone open on the side I went into it (bad I know) but there he was at it again sending pics back and forth and chatting away... after I told him it was his last chance last time and he promised on the kids life he wouldn't do it again but here I am... only now I'm pregnant and don't know what to do?

Sorry for the extremely long post but any advise would be appreciated thanks

I do feel for you
Your husband has an addiction its as simple as that. You can threaten all you like and he will be contrite and promise never to do it again but he cant help himself.
He needs professional help, just like any other addict who wants to quit.
You need to be strong tell him what you have found and see if he will go into counselling/therapy.
The choice is yours wether or not you are willing to stay with him if he seeks help for his problem.
I wish you all the best

If he’s been doing it for years, and you’ve stayed with him, he has no incentive to stop. Obviously you can’t trust him, either not to do it, or when he promises to stop, so you have to decide whether this is how you want to spend the rest of your life

I know he's never going to stop, I so desperately want to give my kids the family that neither of us had growing up, my eldest has autism and doesn't cope well with changes and I think it's been for the kids sake that I keep putting up with it, I hate being on my own and I'm scared of ending up lonely with 3 kids

he had his last chance - and now you don't know what do do? Where is your self esteem I wonder? Staying together to give the kids what exactly - a father who is a cheat and a woman who has to turn a blind eye for fear of upsetting him.

The only option is to get rid surely? Or are you happy to live with a liar who has no respect for you. Do you really think being lonely could be worse than this?

To be lonely with 3 kids or to be lonely with 4 kids ( DP bring the 4th)