Hello,
I have just joined and I am reaching out for some advice. I kind of know what is going to be said to me but I just need to talk on here as I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this. Well not anyone who isn't involved! I have been with my husband a total of 3 years and married for 1. He has always been a nightmare on drink. He cheated on me at the beginning with a female friends and this was all through drink. He told me they were just friends and yet when I was away for the weekend, he went out and she was there, they got drunk and kissed. Eventually I found this out. He begged and begged me for forgiveness. I forgave but never forgot. Heasked me to marry him, I said yes and we got married. Everything was OK, infact good for the next couple of years. Then he started to hate his job, he started to drink loads again. I mean like when we went on nights out, he would get wrecked and we have a very sociable social life. I just found out last night through a friend that he tried to kiss her before Christmas. This said friend if a friend of both of ours and she, like myself has very high moral (or so I believe) and so I believe she is telling me the truth. This is how the night apparently unfolded.
Me and the Husband went out for a boozy lunch with our friends. We were home by 7pm and I was in bed by then. Unknown to me, he went over to this said friend's flat (which I am would not be bothered about normally as she is/was a friend to both of us) and this is where the incident happened. He was so drunk and she was sober. he tried to kiss her, she said she pushed him away. Since then she has been in out company twice with other friends and nothing was ever said to me and I never saw any awkwardness.
A month later I have found out about this. She came over last night for dinner and whilst I was in the toilet, I heard them whispering. So I eventually got him on his own and I asked him what was going on. he made up a lie about saying he drunken said he loved the girl he cheated on me with (now to add a twist to the story, the girl he cheated on me with used to be best friends with this said Friend I am talking about but they fell out) so I ended up arguing with him in front of this girl and the two of them embarked on this lie about him saying he loved and missed the friendship of the girl he cheated on me with. Then friend left and I put husband on the sofa.
The friend came over this morning to tell me that it was all a lie and that husband had tried it on with her and what I heard her whispering was that she would let it go this time but if he ever did it again she would tell me. I am devastated because on drink, this man who I love is a nightmare with women and I don't see how I can trust him.
Now him and her aren't talking, even though she spent a couple of nights in out company after this event. She is worried about our friendship but I trust her and what she is saying. Now, her and by Husband will never be friends again and we are all due to be in the same place tonight for NYE and I don't know what to with Husband and our relationship. He is begging me for forgiveness and telling me he wont drink again. His drinking is the problem because he become a sleezy ignorant idiot who craves attention.
I just don't know what to do or how to cope with this situation. I feel physically sick.
Is there anyone who could get my advise?