Facebook

[Mcglovin]

Do you think it's ok for my girlfriend to message certain men from her work on fb and deny she doesn't ever message them!

Not a problem unless the content of the messages is inappropriate. My husband messages people on Facebook all the time related to work (he’s self employed so technically doesn’t ‘work’ with anyone). But clients sometimes message him via Facebook or female colleagues in the same industry (and men too) or friends he’s made through networking events, former co-workers, etc. It’s not an issue at all. We have a good relationship. We trust each other. He has nothing to hide and the messages are appropriate. I think he would be upset about it or not as open if I was unnecessarily paranoid about it, but I’m not because I have no reason to be. So yes perfectly fine and normal, unless the messages are inappropriate.

I think emotional affairs start when one person does things they hide from their partner. Messaging friends of opposite
Sex appropriate messages is fine. Hiding it isn't.

Although if you had a suspicious and controlling partner, you may feel like you had to hide it otherwise they jump to conclusions perhaps.

McGlovin there have been two other threads over the last week where a woman has complained that her boyfriend is messaging a female friend. In both cases she has been told she is being unreasonable, controlling and shouldn’t be snooping. Get over yourself.

My DH phone is constantly beeping from female work colleagues. (100 employees only 4 are male!). Why would I leap to the conclusion he's emotionally involved with all of them? Texts are not always work related and sometimes when he's busy he asks me to check message for him. You have to ask yourself is he denying the message because of how reactive you are or because it's inappropriate. From your post it seems to be he's worried about your behaviour rather than his.

Oh and I'm with Angelfish there have been a couple of these in the last week where the female OP was told she was being controlling. Your gender swop was pointless, the answers are the same.

Regardless of gender unless you have any other reason to assume something untoward is going on then messaging people of the opposite sex is totally fine. Nice swap though hope you got the reaction you were looking for