I left an extremely nasty and abusive r/s this year. Ex is being predictably shit. It was very long term and we have dcs, one of the many good reasons to leave. He is still being highly manipulative, screams at me down the phone regularly, sends horrible texts, accuses me of god knows what. I am used to the shit and am able to step back and be calm. Sometimes I feel such amazing joy at being free, but often feel incredibly anxious and very alone (no desire to go back whatsoever, just a random alone-ness, not missing him at ALL).
I look at everyone with a very cynical insight now and can never imagine being in love again. I feel like it's a fairytale we are sold to keep us at others' beck and call, at the end of the day. I feel utterly spent and destroyed by the years of awfulness. My main priority is of course dcs and I keep cheerful and calm for them, but feel so lost and alone.
Anyone in same boat who can offer advice/ would like to share their own difficulties with this horrible situation?