Would you invite your ex-husband/partner to your wedding?

[Mamioftwo]

Hey!

I'm not in this position.. (yet)

But it is something I thought about. If I was to marry again, would I or should I invite my ex-husband..?? I know it depends a lot on the type of relationship you have post break-up/divorce. Mine was smooth. No drama. We are cordial to each other now, but not 'best buds'..

Do you think it'll jinx your new relationship to have an ex partner?

Just curious if anyone has been in this position..? And what they did?

I did we had older DC together and it seemed a good time to make a fresh start. Really glad I did it as it's made my DC's subsequent engagements weddings and our GC much more comfortable socially (not sure that's the right phrase) We've been out for dinner and done summer parties will probably do a mega extended Christmas next year. We were actually quite acrimonious but it's all water under the bridge now.

Absolutely not f on both of you s!

From both of us! Stupid phone!

lol no

I asked older 2s dad if he wanted to come to my wedding so he could see his children all dressed up.

He declined but we have no hard feelings towards each other.

My DB did - he and his ex always had a good relationship, and we were all invited to ex SIL's wedding too. We regularly do stuff together and I really appreciate the lengths they went to to keep relationships amicable.

An ex husband? God no.

How do you imagine your current partner would feel about it? I know it would take the shine off my wedding vows if I knew the woman he said them to first time round was sitting a few rows behind me.

No way.

We always said we’d invite DSDs Mum but when it came for to it I hated the idea of her being at my wedding

My husband went to his first wife's wedding. They were married briefly when they were 21 and had been on good terms ever since, so it was natural for him to go 15 years later and wish her well when she remarried.

I did and he acted as an Usher in church. At least he knew all my relatives!

Isn’t it a bit weird to make the same promises in front of someone else you made those promises to

Yes marriages end and remarriage takes place but inviting someone to see your marriage that you did it with before would be a bit weird

I wasn't married to my DC dad so didn't think about the promises but tbf if it worries you you probably should stay married/never remarry so meh wouldn't care I don't think

My parents did this. Both attended each other's weddings when my siblings and were in our mid/late teens. They had split around 10-15 years or so before and it had been very, very, acrimonious (with police and court involvement) but they recognised that the tension was having a negative effect on us kids so made the effort to move forward. They're not best pals by any means, but they and my step parents are all comfortable around each other and happy to spend time together at family events.

Now I'm older with my own kids i can appreciate how hard it must have been to reach this point and I'm very grateful that they made the effort to do so. It has meant i never feel conflicted about where to spend holiday events etc. This Christmas we all spent Christmas day together along with my siblings, nephews, and even the ex of one of my step parents.

I don't think you should feel obliged to invite your ex to your wedding. But if you have kids I do think it's worth making the effort to get on with each other.

God no!

Slightly different but DH’s ex wife came to our wedding at my invite.

She’s lovely, they had been separated a long time when we met had she had always been kind and welcoming to me. Plus it meant we didn’t have to worry about SDD on our wedding night.

FIL was scandalised and couldn’t understand it at all!

Never

That's fabulous to hear Fitzsimmons and is exactly why we did it....... bit worried you are my DD tho .

Nigel Farage would have more chance of an invite.

Not a fucking chance!

Absolutely hit but he is still with the psycho bitch from hell who was the ow and who is still harassing us now 10 years later. He can't be arsed to see/speak to his kids or pay maintenance so the chances of me giving them the opportunity to sabotage the day are non existent!! I would also need to find a new man!!!

I think it very much depends on the nature of your friendship now and also how your partner feels about it and how close they are.

I have an ex, who I was with for about 4-5 years, with things ending about a year or two before we both went on to meet our partners. We always stayed friends and actually I became quite close (probably closer!) to his now wife after they started dating. She's awesome and we have a lot in common. I genuinely am closer now to her than I am to my ex. My dh and I attended their wedding and it was lovely. I was genuinely really happy to be there and it wasn't weird (though definitely I think there were a few family members and friends who were surprised to see me, probably seemed unusual to them!).

My ex and his wife were invited to our wedding as well, though they couldn't attend (we live in different countries now and they had just had a baby at the time). It really doesn't seem at all odd to me that we are that close now (it's been many, many years since we were together, my dh and I have been together 10 years now), but I think our friendship is probably pretty unique. There is no baggage at all there. We're both much happier with our partners than we ever were together and our partners are friends too, etc. I imagine that's the sort of situation you have to have for it to not seem too weird.

@Fitzsimmons I love that type of unity, where everyone can get along & be one big happy family. Although it is rare.

I am very close to my ex MIL & ex SIL, they have always supported me through everything, & they have and always will be family & they will be at my wedding (when it happens 😆) .. my ex SIL has already said that she would be one of my bridesmaids! I'm just not sure how I'd feel with his presence being there, as I wouldn't want to feel uncomfortable on such a special day. Also like you said, if kids are involved, it is important to show them the unity & support as a family. We have 2 boys & it would be nice for them to see that their parents support each other, and that we are still a family.

But I totally get the whole vows being tarnished thing.

I guess I'll decide when the time comes.

I would, I think it would be nice for the dc, but I'm lucky that we're amicable. I certainly won't be saying anything about 'forever' again (now I realise it's unrealistic bollocks) so it won't be the same vows anyway.

One of my friends had her ex-fiance’s twin do the reading at her wedding. No other connection between them, and the ex-fiancé was obviously there too. Seemed pretty weird to me, it was a messy break-up and they weren’t friends.

Nope.
Not a chance in hell.
Never