How to finally move on from STBXH - need advice

[WantToMoveOnNow]

How do I do it?

Separated over a year, financial stage of divorce. He left after EA. He’s not in a relationship with her but didn’t want to give up contact with her either to work on marriage. He’s divorcing me.

Something is holding me back. I’m still very upset about it all. My confidence is rock bottom and I’m scared of dating. Scared of being rejected again. I’m also scared of being alone though. I want a family. I’m 35 and scared it’s too late.

How do I get myself into the mindset to move on? There must be something I can do?

@WantToMoveOnNow
Start by reading the Chumplady. That should do it!

Thank you - I’ve read the chumplady a while ago but it’s not doing it for me It’s like I can’t square logic (I deserve better etc.) with my emotions (I love him and wanted to spend my life with him).

It’s really getting to me.

I suppose I just need to plod on and hope time will sort it

I m so sorry you’re going through this. My ex also had an EA and it hurts like hell. Have you tries counselling? I know it’s not for everyone but it sounds like you need your self esteem boosting. I totally understand the feelings of rejection and there’s grieving for what you thought your life would be.
I don’t think you’re too old at 35, loads of people on here have met their dp and started a family older than that.
Look after yourself.

I think a year isn't enough time. For me it's 16 months and I'm no where near healed/normal. I am happier on my own now. I don't trust men anymore so I'm looking forward to a more simpler life of a new home, once I move from the family home, doing up the new house, spending time with friends and finding new interests. I think my happiness lies inside me as apposed to other people granting me with it.

Thank you. It’s so difficult. I am trying hard to find happiness within myself and on my own. I meet friends, have hobbies, am doing up the house I bought him out of. Fundamentally though I think I am happier in a relationship and I do want a family. Just how to tell my head to be less scared?