I'm NC with my family - parents and sister - have been for few years now and it's been a huge relief, they were toxic to me growing up and left me permanently lacking in confidence after years of emotional and occasional physical abuse. They haven't taken it well and I would say actually hate me and DH now as he was very supportive of my decision to go NC and eventually emailed them to tell them to leave me alone when they wouldn't. On the few occasions we've seen them since they have refused to speak to us and my dad honestly looked at me as if he would like to kill me, with pure hatred. It was very shocking and unsettling. I try to forget about them and usually manage. But generally I have worked through it and am OK and feel happy with decision to go NC. They have been told that they can see our kids if they want but have chosen not to, they do send presents though.
My DH's family absolutely adore him and love our kids (though DH is their main focus). They have never particularly liked me. We have different political views that we both feel strongly about (both on normal range of political spectrum, nothing extreme) and as politics is a big part of their life - they campaign locally and are very passionate about their politics - and a reasonably big part of mine - that has been a problem. DH privately shares my views but would never tell them this as I don't think they could take it, he was brought up with their views and his siblings are like his parents and feel very strongly, I think they suspect that he thinks like me though and feel that I have turned him when in fact his political views have evolved on their own. There are many other things which I won't list as they are too outing - just generally I think they feel I am not good enough for him even though we have a very happy marriage. I know this as they regularly make comments and his brother even started a huge argument with DH earlier in the year over a political view that we both share, at that point it became very clear not for the first time that he dislikes me quite a lot. I do try with them, like buying them nice Xmas presents, inviting them over, I even tried to help his brother find a flat last year, he was moving to an area of the country where I know quite a lot of people and he was struggling to find an affordable flat to rent, I messaged a few people on his behalf. But I think I just annoyed him. I visited the area where he lives with his wife earlier this year and texted him asking if he wanted to meet for lunch, which he ignored. Again I won't say too much as it's outing but I also spent quite a lot of my own money a few years ago to help them out after they had an unforeseen disaster. They regularly ignore my efforts - things like ignoring emails, recently I had a piece of writing published that I was proud of as was DH, he sent it to them and they all completely ignored his email. They will regularly ignore texts from me and when I send birthday or xmas gifts they will always thank him even if they are home made by me (I don't think they dislike the things I make as they have paid me before to make them for other people). I recently spent a long time hand making a gift for nephew, I know SIL liked it as she had bought a version of gift for friends, she did not acknowledge gift to me but thanked DH instead. I am trying to choose my words carefully as I'm afraid people will pick them apart and try to suggest that it's my fault they don't like me. And I guess it is, I am who I am with my own views and habits and personality traits, I have plenty of friends and colleagues who like so I don't think I'm an awful person and don't have extreme views on anything. The bottom line is that they just don't like me and I am not who they would have chosen for their son. He had an ex who they absolutely adored, they were devastated when he broke up with her and years on they are still friends with her on FB etc, I think they just wish he'd stayed with her as she is so much more like them.
It's just hard as I feel that DH is the only adult that actually loves me, he is so loved by his family and I am hated by mine and disliked by his. It makes me think that I would be so alone and lost without him, I hate being so dependent on one person but I have actually developed a sort of anxiety over it and worry whenever he goes out that something is going to happen to him.
Thanks for reading, am just feeling it particularly at the moment, we have spent time with them over Xmas and time with them always reminds me of how things are - his brother is the worst and sometimes he just can't hide his dislike for me. I am constantly promising myself that I won't try so hard any more with gifts, messaging, offers of help, as I always end up feeling stupid, but I never seem to learn. I wish I could just take a step back, I suppose I always think, if I just do this one thing, then they finally will like and accept me. They never do though.